Conscious Love: Embracing My True Self and Guiding Parents on Supporting Transgender Children

My journey to self-realization and identity affirmation has been a path illuminated by conscious love – first coming out as a lesbian at age 14, and then as transgender at age 49. These milestones in my life weren’t just about revealing who I am but also about the profound understanding and acceptance I sought, particularly from my family. For me, my mother in particular is my biggest advocate. She’s my friend, confidante, and biggest supporter. It wasn’t always easy, however, through love, patience, and understanding, we have navigated this journey since I was a young teen. This experience has provided me with unique insights into how parents can effectively support their transgender children and relatives.

First Revelation: The Intricacies of Identity

Coming out as a lesbian was my initial step towards self-acceptance, a declaration of my sexual orientation. But, embracing my transgender identity was a deeper and more complex revelation. This wasn’t just about who I loved but fundamentally about who I am. For parents and family members, grasping the intricacies of this process is essential. Recognize that coming out as transgender is an intense journey of self-discovery and acceptance, often involving emotional and psychological challenges.

Communicating About Transgender Identity to Children

When a family member affirms their gender identity, it is important to explain this to children in an age-appropriate, honest manner. Use simple language to describe how some people feel their physical appearance does not reflect their inner being, and affirming their gender is a way of aligning these aspects. Emphasize the importance of respect and empathy for everyone’s unique identity.

Supporting Your Child’s Transition

If your child expresses the desire to transition, it’s a moment to practice conscious love. Listen to them without judgment and strive to understand their feelings and needs. Educating yourself about transgender issues is critical to providing informed and compassionate support. Remember, it’s about affirming their identity and providing them with the love and acceptance they need.

Seeking Professional Insight

Consulting with gender identity specialists, such as therapists and medical practitioners, is crucial. These professionals can offer guidance and support not just to your child but to the entire family, helping navigate the physical, emotional, and social aspects of transitioning.

Cultivating a Supportive Home Environment

Creating a nurturing and accepting home environment is vital. This means respecting your child’s chosen name and pronouns, supporting their gender expression, and protecting them from discrimination. A supportive home is a foundation where a child can confidently grow into their authentic self.

Building a Community of Support

Connecting with other families with transgender members can provide invaluable support and understanding. These communities offer a space to share experiences, gain advice, and find emotional support from those who have walked a similar path.

Overcoming Challenges and Advocacy

Be prepared to confront societal challenges and misconceptions. Teach your child resilience against prejudice, and ensure they have access to mental health support when needed. As a parent, advocate for your child’s rights and work towards educating others to create a more accepting and informed society.

Embracing the Journey Together

Remember, affirming one’s gender is a journey for both the individual and their family; adult and child alike. It’s a process of continuous learning, understanding, and sometimes making mistakes. Mistakes are ok and lead to greater understanding if navigated with sensitivity. The most important aspect is to maintain open communication, demonstrate unconditional love, and support your child every step of the way. This demonstrates conscious love for everyone involved.

In my own life, coming out twice was about seeking and fostering conscious love – from my family, friends, and society. To parents navigating these waters, remember that your empathy, education, and unwavering support are the greatest gifts you can offer to your transgender child on their journey to living authentically.

Family Resources:

1. National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE): This organization offers a range of resources focused on the rights of transgender families and individuals. They address various issues such as parenting, discrimination, and legal challenges that transgender people and their families may face.
2. Human Rights Campaign (HRC): HRC offers a comprehensive guide on understanding and supporting transgender children and youth. They provide insights into gender dysphoria, the importance of parental support, and practical ways to advocate for and affirm your transgender child. Their resources are co-published with medical professionals and are an excellent source of information for parents.
3. PFLAG: This is one of the oldest organizations supporting the LGBTQ+ community. They offer support for families, friends, and allies of transgender individuals. PFLAG provides educational resources, support groups, and advocacy information, making it a valuable resource for parents and families adjusting to a family member’s transition.

Dr. Elijah Nicholas, author of Madoodle, a trans friendly family and children’s book, has brilliantly created a picture story that provides space for a 10 year old girl to express and experience compassion and unconditional love for her Uncle Pete, a transgender man who was once Auntie Mary, Madoodle’s favorite aunt.