How old is too old to have a baby? Is there such a thing as being past our female prime in our progressive age of egg-freezing technology and scientific possibilities of surrogacy? Some say yes, some say no. The options for carrying and birthing a baby past the age of 35 teeters on controversial to some. Others don’t understand the controversy at all.
I myself am split on the issue: I’ve gone on the record saying I’m ‘finished’ with having babies partly because of my age. Maybe I’m an antiquated chicken? I’ve never been a risk-taker, especially concerning my own biology, but when it comes to watching women realize their dreams I’m a pure, idealistic sap (complete with running tears and a Kleenex box). Is it because I was some idiot who got lucky and was too stupid to realize it at the time?
Watching the trailer for the in-progress documentary Pushing Motherhood, I was a mess. A MESS. Pushing Motherhood explores the compelling true stories of two best friends, Sybil Azur and Linda Cevallos-French, as they self-document their personal choices and challenges to have babies in their late 30’s and 40’s… and also questions why a growing number of women are ‘waiting’ to become mothers.
Sybil, a 38-year-old former professional dancer and recent college graduate, makes the decision to have a baby with her boyfriend. The couple quickly becomes pregnant and welcomes a healthy baby boy into their lives. When their son is less than a year old, the couple looks to become second-time parents… not knowing if they’ll be as lucky the second time around now that Sybil has crossed the threshold of turning 40. Linda, a 45-year-old married dancer turned director once content without children, is now attempting to achieve a pregnancy when she and her husband realize this could be their last chance to have a child. After a few unsuccessful months, the couple begins their journey on the infertility track… uncertain what their efforts will yield.
Watching the six-minute trailer, my ignorant, on-the-fance perceptions about having babies later in what medical professionals call ‘reproductive life’ evaporated and my comforting mommy-spirit took over (that same spirit that just wants to hold my babies when they fall on their face and cry). Based on the footage, Pushing Motherhood is a raw and very-real look at the sisterhood of becoming a mother — the social, emotional, and biological journey of today’s woman that finds career, education, and relationships locked in a battle against time and fertility.
Which leads me to even bigger questions: Is our generation of smart and savvy modern women still confused about what we want to do and what we think we should want to do as grown women? What are we willing to wait for, what are we not willing to wait for, and are our priorities (when it comes to starting a family life) all out of whack or right on target for the age we live in?
Yes, all these questions burst out at me with just one viewing of the the powerful preview posted on Kickstarter. And it seems that these same questions of hope, concern, love and doubt seemed to affect thousands of others as well: Pushing Motherhood’s Kickstarter campaign is steadily approaching it’s goal of raising $50,000 by Friday May 24 to finish the film and begin distribution… but it still needs our help to bring it to life. Watch the trailer and decide for yourself: Are we pushing motherhood… and is it worth it?
Go to Kickstarter (http://kck.st/10Aja3f) for more information, to view the trailer and make a pledge to continue this conversation for women everywhere.
Jill Simonian is a TV Host/Reporter currently having a blast trying to keep life focused and fabulous after having babies… check out her shenanigans on her blog, TheFabMom.com.