A friend of mine is so kind to pass on her old People magazines to me once she is done with them. It all came about many years ago, when we were all going to the same playgroup with our young daughters. At almost every playgroup the behavior of a known actress, actor, singer or other would be mentioned and I always felt left a little behind, because I didn’t know much about these people. Don’t get me wrong… I know about the big stars that are often mentioned, but many of the new comers or people that prefer more to be behind the scenes, I didn’t know anything about them. So when I heard that my friend received People every week, she kindly agreed to pass it along once she is done. Since we unfortunately do not see each other every week anymore, that happens when children get older and we all get busy with life, she puts them aside and gives me a whole stack every time we meet.
She is a dear friend of mine that I love and respect very much and I don’t see her because of the magazines. Them I could live without, but not her!!!
Anyway, this loooong introduction was because I read something in one of those People magazines the other day that I thought was very relevant to many of us and a big eye opener.
The article was about mothers becoming alcoholics, because they feel that there is too much stress and pressure on being the perfect mom/wife. Our society is still giving the impression that without a woman to hold the family together it will all fall apart and nothing will get done. Of course, as many of you probably will agree with me, this has improved a lot over the years and is no longer completely true in many families. However, sometimes women put too much strain on themselves and try to joggle 5 things at the same time.
While reading this article I really started thinking about it and it hit home, because I can completely understand what these women talk about when saying they feel that they are the ones responsible for making sure that the family life runs smoothly. Between having dinner ready, clean clothes in the cupboards, lunch and backpacks ready when the kids go to school, clean house, work and all the other small details that just sums up every day life, there is very little mommy time left.
And I am one of the really lucky ones that have a husband that really helps out a lot and doesn’t expect me to do all the things that I do. The problem is…. I expect it from myself. So who is the one putting pressure on us, women? Is it the society or is it women themselves?
And is finding comfort in the bottle really the answer?
Part of the danger is how women that do resort to alcohol are really good in hiding it. They consciously always carry gum around, mouth spray and some perfume.
This means that if nobody knows that they are drinking, then it is hard to help them. And as many of us know, then we more or less live in the car when you have active kids that are going to all kind of afterschool activities. A study shows that the number of women arrested for driving while intoxicated shot up nearly 30% between 1998 and 2007. Some horrible stories have surfaced in the last few years, such as Diane Schuler who killed 8 people in a car accident while speeding the wrong way down a busy highway. How can we best help people that do not seem to be able to find another solution than to look in the bottle?
Hopefully women that feel that they are too stressed and overloaded will be able to go to their husband or friends and family for help and not be too proud. We are all in the same boat. We all try our best to get through the day and get as much done as possible. Do not beat yourself up over it if you do not get everything done that is on your to-do list. Don’t forget… your kids needs you and if you are intoxicated it will not improve your relationship with your children. They always know when something is wrong.