Remember the days you thought 7am was oh-so early?
When you used to spend all day Sunday on the couch watching VH1?
I used to think I knew what being tired felt like-something I could cure by sleeping in until noon the next day or adding an extra shot to my Americano. But then I started having children. And I’ve been tired in some capacity ever since!
And it’s not just me. Everyone around me with kids under five just seem like they would happily curl up into a ball and take a catnap if given the chance. And all the B12 in the world doesn’t seem to make it any better. Believe me, I’ve tried the shot in my ass, the pill and even that new nasal B12. And I’m still tired!
My now three-year-old didn’t sleep AT ALL the first year and I used to walk around like a zombie, wearing my exhaustion like a badge of honor, daring anyone within fifty feet to try to compete with my tiredness. I quickly discovered that long-term sleep deprivation made me a humorless beyotch with bad skin.
Had to wake up at 6am to make it to Yogalates? Boo F’ing Hoo!
Stayed out too late with the girls and had to recover by watching SATC on TBS for four hours straight the next day? I’m hatin’ on you just a little bit.
Anytime anyone over the age of ten gets to take a daytime nap? Super. Insanely. Jealous.
And even though most nights my munchkins now sleep peacefully, (although sadly WILL NOT sleep past 6am, no matter how late we keep them up) I still find myself tired most of the time. Not the bone-aching, mind-numbing newborn baby tired, but more like a constant feeling like I’d like to stop whatever I’m doing and go lie in bed. Which btw, is a very impractical thought when you’re in the middle of a presentation at work. Or in the middle of a conversation with, well, ANYONE!
And while I recognize that heading out for a jog or spending some time at the gym would help this problem, I just can’t seem to find the time or motivation to drag myself there. The thought of waking up at 4am to go the the gym makes me want to take a free weight and punch the person in the face who suggested it. Or wrap them up in a Pilates mat and roll them down a hill. Or use them as my kickboxing class punching bag.
And don’t even get me started on that research that claims you need to get at least seven and a half hours of sleep each night in order to lose weight. Another strike against any mommy trying desperately to take off those last eight pounds. Clearly a man came up with that sh*t!
So until I reach that promised land where my children are able to wake up and get dressed without parental assistance, I will remain slightly tired at all times. And I’d like to give Lisa a big shout out for enduring MANY early morning bitchface emails from me! Sorry! I should be banned from any forms of communication besides grunting before 7am.
So to all you tired mommies out there, this one’s for you. Let’s band together in our slight everyday crankiness. Tired Mommies Unite!
And for those of you who think this post is kinda bitchy, sorry! I was super tired when I wrote it. =)
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