Mom With Violated Stuffed Animals writes:
How do I handle my humping two year old girl ? It has started to happen on our couch during family time with favorite stuffed animals and even larger plastic toys. She is still in diapers. I know this is a normal phase, but do I ignore it/what can I say to let her know the couch isn’t the place??? Help!!!
Dear MWVSA,
Good question and a common one! Your little girl is behaving totally normally. It feels pleasurable to hump her stuffed animals, so she does it. Good for her for figuring out how her body works. If you just let her keep doing it in public, though, she won’t learn the difference between what we do in public and in private. So, you can say, “Moving your stuffed animal like that is for private. I know it feels good, and you can do it, but it is private so you only do it in your room, and not when anyone else is watching.” Say this in a normal conversational tone. Do not say, “Oh my God stop being so disgusting” unless you want her to say that to her partner later in life when sex is initiated. I know, she’s your little girl, but one day hopefully she will be an adult woman with a healthy sex life and a healthy perspective on sex, and that starts now.
So, to summarize, masturbating is normal for children and adults, and it’s important not to make your kids feel ashamed of getting pleasure from their own bodies. But it’s also important to teach them that this is a private activity. Also, this is a good jumping off point to start teaching your daughter the correct names for parts of her anatomy, e.g. vagina, butt, etc. In addition to showing her that her body is natural and okay, this can also ensure that she knows how to tell you if something is ever wrong with her private parts or if she is ever touched inappropriately.
Thanks for writing in, and I hope your daughter humps happily and privately in the future.
Till we meet again, I remain, The Blogapist Who Saved This Post Till Wednesday Because It’s Hump Day.
Dr. Rodman blogs at Dr. Psych Mom. Join her on Facebook and Twitter.
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