The next time you’re washing your hubby’s dirty underwear and thinking to yourself, “Man, I miss being young and single,” THINK AGAIN! don’t let those worn-out whitey tighties erase your memory of the awful, anxiety-inducing things women have to deal with when partaking in the torturous social ritual called “dating.” Here are just a few things you don’t miss about being single… and trust me, it’s only gotten worse.
“After a week, it’s all tubs of ice cream and tears”
While it’s far too soon to begin discussing of the train wreck of events that can (and usually do) occur while you’re actually ON a date, let’s begin with the trauma that ensues once the first date has ended – a.k.a post-date trauma. Here’s one of the most common scenarios that can drive any reasonable girl right over the edge:
The Rollercoaster Ride
After several failed dating attempts, you have finally found “Nathan.” He is charming, witty, handsome and most of all, he is a gentleman. He pays for dinner, opens the door for you and showers you with just the right amount of flattery and respect. After he takes you on your once-in-a-decade date, Nathan walks you to your door, leaves you with a good-night kiss to remember, looks your deep in the eyes and says,
“I’ll call ya.”
So you wait for the call. And by wait, I mean think about it every waking moment of every day. You are constantly checking your phone – thanks to cell phones we have a constant reminder that he has yet to call right in our pockets and purses all day long. Thanks to smartphones, we now have access to trillions of social media outlets where he may choose to contact us!
Thus begins the Facebook stalking to make sure he is still alive, checking Twitter to see what time @evilnathan last tweeted, checking your email inbox, checking your voicemail.
Then you remember, “Oh yea! There is that “48 hour calling rule”. You know – that rule some caveman created stating that all men are to wait two days before contacting a woman following any sort of new male-female interaction.
Phew. Clearly THAT is why Nathan hasn’t called yet. Silly woman. You can stop biting your nails and pulling out your hair. It hasn’t been 48 hours yet!
But then the two days passes and still no call. Maybe he got in an accident? Maybe he lost your number? Maybe you smelled bad or wore ugly clothes or he saw a blonde chick at the bar and wanted to be with her instead! Or maybe he was kidnapped by the CIA and is being held hostage at this very moment by our government in a dark cellar underground and he doesn’t have his phone!!
The anticipation is going to make you EXPLODE!! You hit explosion mode – the lava starts to pour out, and slowly but surely all logic and reason come rushing back to their rightful place. And so after about a week, tubs of ice cream, tears, and trash-talking with your friends – he calls and it starts ALL OVER AGAIN.
Oh yea, you don’t miss this.