Fertility, Stress and Letting Go


How many times have you all heard the story about the couple that had been trying for years to get pregnant and ended up adopting a baby only to find out 3 months later that they were pregnant?

About 2 years ago, I worked with a 46-year-old woman who had done 8 IVF’s when the doctor said she might want to look into an egg donor because the quality of her eggs had dropped. So, she and her husband went through the whole process and found a donor they loved and started to get the ball rolling with her. In the meantime, she and her husband began to make love with no pressure or stress of making a baby but now only to love, connect and enjoy each other. Can you imagine her surprise a few weeks later when she found out she was pregnant? (By the way, she ended up giving birth, full-term to a very healthy baby girl!)

A girlfriend of mine tried for years to get pregnant with another child. After years and years of trying, on her 40th birthday, she called me and said; “that’s it, I surrender. I guess I am just not meant to have another baby.” So, she sold all of her son’s old baby toys, clothes, crib, etc. that she had been holding onto. Around the same time, her husband took her to Hawaii for her birthday (just the two of them) and they had a ball; they relaxed, hiked, swam, napped, had tons of sex, got massages, wine and dined, laughed and reconnected. Nine months later, her baby Sophia was born.

The same thing happened to another girl I met on an airplane. She and her husband tried for years to have another child. Over time their relationship began to suffer. She finally got to a point where she couldn’t take it anymore and gave up trying. With a commitment to each other to save their marriage and work on re-kindling the spark that had begun to diminish, they booked a romantic trip together. She went out and bought sexy lingerie, packed some seductive outfits, got waxed and her hair and nails done. She said they had the most passionate vacation ever and they fell in love all over again. Nine months later, a baby girl was born.

Trying to conceive a child can be one of the most stressful things – not only to yourself but also on your relationship. I have a client that I am prepping for pregnancy. I do this visualization with her where we call in her future baby and ask what it needs from her to feel safe to come into the world. She saw it was a boy and he said he didn’t want to be born into chaos and he needed her and her husband to relax and trust. Think about this. Who would want to be born into stress? Over the past few months we have been working on calm and stress-free living – through massage, restorative yoga and breathing work, visualizations, journal work, emotional support (life coaching), healthy diet, romantic dates and fun with her husband and a new positive attitude. Her hormones are regular, she is ovulating like crazy, she went to acupuncture and her pulse was a perfect calm for pregnancy and we shall see…I have a feeling there will be a new baby in this world very soon!

What do all these people have in common? When they were finally able to let go, relax, enjoy and surrender, their baby came. I also believe that babies have their own timing to be born and it’s not always on ours.

For those of you who have been trying to conceive and are getting stressed out and spinning out of control in a downward cycle: Maybe it’s about time that you just let go for a bit, have some fun and romance with your partner and just be with, relax and enjoy each other?

Happy baby-making!




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