Mom Confessions: The Real Reason I Clean My Own House

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Who has time to clean their house? (Crickets.) Does anyone clean their own home anymore? (Bigger and more obnoxiously-loud crickets now, at least with a lot of my busy friends.) Looks like I’m the only sucker.

Spring has sprung and I think I’m pretty much the only one who scrubs and wipes and sprays her own toilets these days. And that’s how I’d like to keep it for now. Why? Because I’m selfish and vain.

Cleaning my own house keeps me in-shape and in my old jeans. (Told you it was vain.) And that is why I don’t mind doing it. At least, that’s what I tell myself.

But I swear it’s true. It’s the only viable explanation – aside from me being delusional. Constantly loading and unloading my dishwasher, washing machine and dryer (not to mention bending down every other minute to pick up sippy-cups, food and/or toys from the floor) keeps me moving all day long. How antiquated and 1950’s of me, I know. But you know what I’m talking about: IT DOESN’T STOP (especially if you’re like me and have two kiddos under two years old who personally make sure it doesn’t stop).

Day after day, things get dirty, spill, and/or somehow find themselves out of place. And between blogging, vlogging, Skyping and mom-ing, I’m constantly movin’ and groovin’ to keep our living space from looking like a barn that feeds dirty animals… in my stretch pants, no less. Hey, there was even a polarizing article here on ModernMom citing a study that suggested women might be more overweight these days because they don’t do their own housework… I kinda believe it. (No, I’m not sexist.)

Besides pushing a massive double stroller up my street, some of my most effective cardio happens after 8pm, when my girls go to sleep: I Swiffer my kitchen floor (yes, I do it as fast as I possibly can and end up sweating when I do it). Weight training? Well, that happens all day long by carrying and putting down my 20ish-lb 1 year old and much-heavier 2 year old, as well as picking up and moving around toys, bouncers and other random things that aren’t where they’re supposed to be (thanks to my munchkins).

Do I stretch? Of course: Stretching’s a group effort on the floor with my girls during playtime or bedtime.

Experts say that you just gotta keep your body moving to maintain good health. So yes, these days I’m welcoming my housework for the sole purpose of welcoming swimsuit season. But seriously, thinking of housework as a calorie-burner and metabolism-booster is the only way to keep me from totally flipping out about the kitchen floor being filthy again.

Thanks to a messy house (and my obsessive desire to be in a clean one), I’m pretty much on a metaphorical treadmill all day long… and inexplicably happy if I end up fitting into an old pair of pants in the process. So why pay a cleaning service to take that fabulous feeling away?

Do you have any vain mom confessions?

Jill Simonian is a TV Host/Reporter, desperately trying to keep life focused and fabulous after having babies… check out her shenanigans on her blog, TheFabMom.com.

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