Tori Spelling on Motherhood, Sibling Rivalry & Baby #4!

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I was fortunate enough to be invited to interview Tori Spelling just two days before the birth of her new baby, Finn Davey.  

Tori was celebrating the reveal of a complete renovation to the playground of the Boys and Girl’s Club in Burbank thanks to the extremely thoughtful team at Lunchables. 

Tori and her husband Dean were there with their beautiful two older children, Liam and Stella, to celebrate with the kids, the center staff and Lunchables on the amazing new facility and equipment.  It is not only innovative, it is also state of the art and fun, and should last for the kids at the club for years to come.

Despite the heat, and being due any day with her fourth child, Tori bravely engaged with the kids and center staff to welcome the new equipment and facility, and played with the kids.  Her children, sweet and well-behaved, were engaged and loved interacting with kids and their parents.

We sat down to discuss some of her thoughts and advice on motherhood:

Rachel: Finding balance is a difficult task for any mom, and you are a mom of three with one on the way and with all that you do, Home Sweet Hollywood, Craft Wars, your store, books, can you share with us how you manage to find balance? 

Tori: No matter what I am working on, I put my family first.  All of my blogs and books are written on my iPhone, previously my blackberry, so I can be with my family and writing.  Dean bought me an iPad to make writing easier for me, but I prefer my iPhone as I can write in the middle of all the chaos at home and I always have it with me.

My family inspires everything I do.  For example, when picking out new fabrics for our kid’s line, I will pick some out and my kids pick some out.  I often go with their selections, as they know what kids want, and it gets them involved in what I am working on.  It makes my work a fun, family-filled affair.  The kids are involved in pretty much everything we do.

(The Spelling-McDermott family after the birth of Hattie Margaret in October 2011)

Rachel: Any secrets or tips that you can share with an everyday mom?

Tori: It is so different and individual for each family.  I truly believe that if you put your family first, everything else is easier.  We don’t make plans.  We just do.  We just go.  Everyday, I have all of these ideas, and I try to put as many of them in motion as I can, and my family comes along for everything.  But I know, what I can do I do.  And what I can’t is okay too.

Rachel: If you could go back and tell yourself anything when you were pregnant for the first time with Liam, would you do anything differently or change anything?

Tori: Not to listen to other people’s opinions and advice.  Don’t listen to their fears, advise, this and that.  You hear not to swim in a pool during your first trimester, not to stand by a microwave, and when you are expecting your first baby, you try to incorporate all of this advice into your pregnancy.  It can be overwhelming and stressful.

Later on, you learn to trust yourself.  From day one when you are pregnant, you are a mom.  You have instincts, and you just need to be comfortable and trusting enough to go with your own intuition.

Rachel: What have been your best resources as a mom in Los Angeles?

Tori: I am really lucky because Dean is such a hands-on dad, he is so great with the kids and takes care of me.  For me, my family really creates its own world.  It is important to jump back into your life, and not be isolated. Plan playdates and get togethers.  Get out there and do things, like Club MomMe events!

Rachel: As the mom of a 14-month-old boy, I have to wonder – what is it like going from having a boy to a girl?

Tori: In the beginning, you are so zoned into one sex.  My whole life, I always wanted a girl.  I am a girly-girl, and every woman likes me wants a little girl.  Then when I found out I was having a boy, at first I did not know what to do.  But then you jump into everything boy.  Our whole world was boy.  When we found out we were having a girl, I didn’t know how I would switch the having a girl, but you just do it.  Having a girl in natural for me.  And Stella is a girly girl!

Rachel: How did you introduce a new sibling to the family?  Did you deal with any feelings of rivalry?

Tori: As the mom of almost four, we have gotten really good at this.  From the beginning, we always call the new arrival “our baby.”  You let each kid know that a baby is coming into the family, rather than just a mom having a baby.  Stella really took this on.  She told everyone she encountered that “we” are having a baby.  She was so excited about it, and got really into it. 

When Hattie was born, Stella was like a proud mom.  [Tori started tearing up here.] Her school threw her a party to welcome “her baby” and she wore a crown and had a princess cake.

All of the kids kiss my belly and say hi to the baby. When the baby moves, they all come over to feel the baby.  They are making a connection with this baby already.  The baby in my belly is already a part of the family. 

(Baby bump #4 with handprints from Liam, Stella and Hattie)

Rachel: Do you make your own baby food?  Any recipes you want to share?

Tori: We are really fortunate to be able to grow all of our own food, vegetables and fruits.  We have goats and other animals.  So they have always had the freshest fruit and veggies available to them.  That’s not to say we don’t use the pouches, those are great!  Hattie, our third baby, was a bit different, she basically skipped baby food.  She saw what her brother and sister were eating, and she wants to eat that.  She is ten months now and eats almost everything that her siblings eat.

[You can check out more photos from the day in the photo gallery below]

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