As if parents didn’t have enough to worry about already…
In addition to sensationalizing celebrities, natural disasters and philandering politicians, news outlets always make a point to intensify the fear of every parents’ never-ending checklist of concerns and paranoia: that their teenage son or daughter is not only sexting and getting drunk on weekends–they are now sneaking off with their iPhones and Blackberrys to “I-dose” on digital sound drugs that make them feel like they are getting high! Seriously?
What other bizarre teenage rituals and activities have parents had to worry about in recent years?
1. Teens Getting High on Nutmeg
Just last month, we had to worry about our nation’s teenagers consuming three to four tablespoons of nutmeg to experience a “marijuana-like high”
2. Teens Getting High on Cough Syrup
According to an old MSN article, one in 14 teenagers were found to be abusing cough medicine to get high. And apparently way back in 2002, this activity was referred to as “robotripping,” named after the common Robitussin drug. Really? Will we see another robotripping revival in another couple of years? Only time will tell…
3. Teenagers Getting High on Fermented Feces
Dude, that is so 2007! This overblown panic of teenagers huffing on fermented fecal matter and urine horrified and disgusted parents and school officials everywhere a few years back. Turns out that it all originated from an obscure internet hoax…or something to that effect.
4. The Choking Game
Resurfacing every few years, the choking game is a terrifying game where kids choke each other, hang themselves with a rope or hyperventilate to get a temporary high from having oxygen cut off from their brain. Parents should watch out if their kids have bloodshot eyes, marks on their necks, or have rope or plastic baggies lying around in their bedroom.
5. Rainbow Parties
A parental panic that came and went a few years back with the release of a young adult book by Paul Ruditis called “Rainbow Party” where teenage girls wearing different-colored lipstick engaged in group oral sex with teenage boys and–well, you get the picture. Turns out, if the Amazon reviews are to be believed, that the book was pretty lame and the idea of rainbow parties is probably more suburban legend than an actual underground trend luring teenage girls everywhere to lose their throat virginity.
6. Chubby Bunny
For the love of God, kids, stop playing the chubby bunny already! In addition to the fact that stuffing as many jumbo-sized marshmallows in your mouth as possible while trying to say the word “chubby bunny” coherently is an obvious choking hazard that has resulted in death, jumbo-sized marshmallows are totally bad for your health and certainly don’t help with the rising childhood obesity epidemic.
Oy, sexting! The media outlets can’t get enough of the rising epidemic of sexting, with some teenagers facing up to seven years of prison for sharing naked picture of underage high school students via their mobile phones. We’ll just have to wait this one out until a brand new technological gizmodo revolution entices kids to find another technologically innovative way to freak out their parents and school officials across the nation.