How to Spot a Player When Dating
3 mins read

How to Spot a Player When Dating

If you’re looking for a long-term, meaningful relationship, don’t date a player. Players offer short-lived thrills with no substance. They come on strong, get what they want and leave with little notice. Players view dating as some kind of sport, where the goal is to woo as many people as possible. Most players share some of the same characteristics and can be weeded out of your dating pool if you pay attention to a few telltale red flags.

Step 1

Notice your date’s body language. Players have an overload of confidence. Does he walk with a swagger? Does he appear smug? Players are bold and will make sweeping affectionate statements (“You’re so fine. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”) before you even really know each other. Players operate on short time frames and want to get down to business before they are found out.

Step 2

Tell your date about your life. Mention little details about yourself and see if he remembers them. Guys who are into you will remember your likes and interests. Players won’t only forget what you told them, they’ll try to avoid any conversations about family or friends unless they can use this information to get you into bed. A nice guy will listen to you and want to know more about you. Players will be emotionally distant and leave you emotionally unsatisfied.

Step 3

Discover who his friends are. Does he have more acquaintances than real friends? If yes, he could be a player, especially if these casual friends are of the opposite sex. It can be a bad sign if all of his friends are players, too.

Step 4

Watch him handle phone calls. Is he shady about receiving calls? Players want to keep their ladies separate from one another to avoid being discovered. An honest man will have nothing to hide. Players may make anonymous calls and texts to people you don’t know and whom he won’t tell you about.

Step 5

Spring plans on him and see if he goes along with them. Players like to meet ladies according to their own schedules. They have a hard time making plans and like to keep themselves free in case something better comes up. Players are notorious for disappearing and then reappearing with little notice.

Step 6

Look at how he communicates with other women. Is he flirty? Does he have wandering eyes? If you accuse him of flirting, will he admit to it or just tell a lie? Lots of little lies spell trouble. If you want to be sneaky, have a friend whom he hasn’t met come and mildly flirt with him when you’re not around. Does he flirt back?

Step 7

Ask about his mom and ask when he plans on introducing you to his family. A player will rarely give you access to his personal circle, while a true boyfriend will be proud to show you off to everyone he can.


  • Players may seem appealing at first. They tell you what you want to hear, lavish you with praise and treat you like royalty. This won’t last. If you decide to date a player, know that you could be abandoned at any moment.
Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments