Building a Strong Marriage: How Teamwork and Communication Help Us Thrive Off the Court
As we approach our first wedding anniversary, I often reflect on the teamwork that goes into building a strong marriage, our marriage—especially since I’m married to a NBA champion. Derek and I both understand that building a strong marriage requires the same level of dedication and communication that kept him winning on the court. Off the court, it’s a different kind of full-court press—one built on love, appreciation, and intentionality.
Together, we’re raising a blended family of amazing kids, and while life can get chaotic, we always find time for each other. Just like in basketball, marriage is about playing the long game, supporting your teammate, and knowing when to pass the ball. Here’s how we keep our marriage strong and happy—both in the easy moments and when the pressure’s on.
- Communication: Our Winning Strategy
If there’s one thing Derek and I learned early on, it’s that communication is our secret weapon. Just like on the court, where players need to talk to make the right plays, we make sure we’re constantly talking to each other. Whether it’s about our day, our goals, or just difficult conversations, we keep the lines of communication wide open. We’ve built a foundation where no topic is off-limits, and that honesty has allowed us to only grow closer with time. When we face challenges, we don’t avoid the hard stuff—we face it head-on, together, like a team ready to take on any opponent. - Appreciating Each Other: The Assist We Both Need
In marriage, just like in basketball, you don’t always need to be the one making the shot. Sometimes, the most important thing is the assist. Derek and I make it a point to lift each other up with small acts of kindness and appreciation—whether it’s a thoughtful text, compliment or making time for a quiet cup of tea together. These little “assists” remind us that we’re in this together, working toward the same goals. We’ve learned to appreciate our everyday moments just as much as any grand event. We celebrate the little victories, like quality time with our kids or finding a quiet moment for just us. Those are our “game-winners.” - Supporting Each Other’s Growth: Playing Different Positions
Just like in basketball, where every player has a role, we make sure we support each other’s personal growth. Derek has his passions, and I have mine, and we’re each other’s biggest fans. When one of us is pursuing a new goal—whether it’s career-related or a personal project—we make space for that pursuit. We cheer each other on and make sure we’re setting each other up for success. When you love someone, their wins feel like your wins. - Making Time for Us: The Timeout We Always Need
When raising kids, finding time for ourselves can sometimes feel like an impossible play. But, timeouts are essential to regroup and strategize and we prioritize moments to reconnect. Whether it’s a spontaneous date night or just quiet time together, these “timeouts” are crucial.
In those moments, we remind ourselves why we fell in love. We laugh, talk, and enjoy each other’s company. It’s these little breaks that keep our marriage strong, helping us come back to the game of life with more energy and love. - Playing the Long Game
If basketball teaches anything, it’s that every game has its ups and downs. Marriage is no different. There are times when everything flows perfectly, and times when we’re on defense. What’s important is remembering that we’re in it for the long game.
Derek and I have committed to appreciating the highs, supporting each other through the lows, and always keeping our eyes on the bigger picture. Marriage isn’t about any one moment—it’s about the journey.
Our Championship Marriage
I can confidently say our marriage feels like we’ve won a championship. By communicating openly, supporting each other’s growth, and always showing appreciation, we’ve built a partnership that’s real, loving, and lasting.
Marriage, is about showing up every day, putting in the effort, and striving to be better. And with Derek by my side, I know we’ll keep playing our best game—together.
