What with the hormonal changes, the morning sickness, and the uncertainty of exactly what’s happening inside your body, you may find yourself at what seems a total impasse when it comes to sex while you’re pregnant. Fluctuations of libido are normal, especially during pregnancy. The best thing you can do is relax and take care of yourself.
Relax. It’s normal to have fluctuating sexual desire even when you’re not pregnant. There’s nothing wrong with you or abnormal about your pregnancy; according to AskDrSears.com, most couples experience both sexual ups and downs during pregnancy and the postpartum stages. Your body is nourishing a new baby, and you are dealing with the emotional expectation, and often fears, as well as the physical changes as they occur. Don’t push yourself to feel something you don’t just because you think you should.
Accept the changes. Your body is expanding to house a new life, which is both exciting and overwhelming. It’s time to let go of the supermodel ideal and have a new ideal: healthy, happy, relaxed, and round mama-to-be. In addition to weight gain, your body also has a significantly increased blood flow, which may increase sexual pleasure, or it may increase sensitivity and irritation. Other symptoms of pregnancy can be seen as positive or negative; you may have thicker, shiny hair and a pregnancy glow, but you may also have itchy skin, puffy feet, and back pain. Accepting what happens with your body right now, and that your new look is still a beautiful one, is important to help you become relaxed enough to share yourself with your partner.
Dress yourself well. This is important both in the bedroom and out. Do a little shopping and purchase some flattering maternity clothes that don’t make you feel like a tent. When you get up in the morning, put on a new outfit, fix your hair, apply a bit of makeup; do whatever you need to in order to feel and look your best. Then do a little lingerie shopping and find items that fit your new curves and changing body. You need to remember that your body is still sexy and appealing, and it’s hard to feel attractive when your jeans won’t button and your undies are too small. Put your new lingerie on display in the bedroom, where you can see it and look forward to showing it off. You may not feel sexy yet, but that lacy stuff has a way of making you aware of your own sex appeal, and that’s a big boost to feeling sexual desire.
Rest often. The fatigue that pregnancy brings can be enough to turn the sex notch down to zero. Go to bed earlier. Sleep in a little later, if you can. Take naps whenever you are able.
Notice the time of day when you have the most energy, and see if you can’t arrange a little rendezvous then, rather than waiting until the end of the day when you are probably at your most exhausted.
Keep up with a regular exercise program, as it will help you to retain energy and feel better throughout the pregnancy.
Talk about it. Communication is key to enjoying sex during pregnancy. If you have concerns about the safety of sex while you’re pregnant, it can certainly scare off any sexual desire. So talk to your physician and be reassured, then talk to your partner and share the information you’ve gained. He may be just as concerned as you are. It’s also important to help him understand how your changing body affects your lovemaking experience. The old tricks may not work anymore; give him some ideas of what feels good and what doesn’t, what’s exciting and what is irritating to your body.
Get creative. Schedule a weekend away together for some relaxing, one-on-one time without any household chores, social obligations, or errands to wear you out. Take along your new lingerie and a sex book or toy and have fun learning what works now, in this part of your life. Let go of the assumptions you made about each other’s bodies in the past, ask questions, communicate, and try new positions. Bring your new knowledge back home with you, and above all, remember that one thing you can count on in pregnancy is that your reaction keeps changing as the pregnancy progresses. You may have low sexual desire at this point, but in the next month or the month after, he may be the one begging for a break.