Though you may have kids, a partner, friends and family members who love you, loving yourself is one of the most important things that you can do. For many people, unfortunately, this is a challenge. If you have poor self-esteem, you may feel you are unworthy of love, even from yourself. Working toward creating a loving relationship with yourself can take time, but it’s worth the effort.
Affirmations are positive statements about you that you repeat to yourself on a daily basis. For example, you may say, “I am beautiful” or “I am successful.” Choose a few phrases that you want to apply to you. If you want to have better sexual relations with your husband, for example, you may want to say, “I look sexy today” every time you look in a mirror. Initially, saying them may feel cheesy, but you’ll find over time that you start to believe them.
List the Good
When you don’t love yourself, it’s often because you can only think of your negative traits. You need a reminder that you have many positive traits as well. Psychotherapist Kali Munro suggests making a list of your good qualities or asking your friends to tell you the things they like about you. You can also keep a list of compliments that you’ve received and whenever you’re feeling down about yourself, review the list to boost your mood.
Get Rid of Negativity
Negativity may be overwhelming your life, even though you don’t realize it. Start to pay attention to all the times you say something negative to yourself. For example, you may put on an old pair of pants and think, “My butt is too big for these pants” or you may think “He thinks I’m stupid” after you’ve shared an idea with your boss. When you catch yourself saying something like this, consciously change it to a positive statement. The more positive statements you say to yourself, the more you’ll be able to love yourself.
Change What You Can
You may have things that you don’t like about yourself but are within your control. For example, you may want to lose a few pounds or finally get your college degree. Start to take the steps necessary to achieve those goals and you’ll start to feel better about yourself.
Take Time for Yourself
It can often feel like you’re so busy taking care of other people that you don’t even have a minute to yourself. It’s important to take time to yourself to do the things that you want to do. Use the time after the kids have gone to bed or start setting your alarm a few minutes early. In that time, you may want to do some yoga, go for a walk or read a good book. All these things can help you improve your relationship with yourself.