Learning How to Let Go in a Divorce

While few individuals enter the institution of marriage even considering the possibility of divorce, statistically, a couple is more likely to break their vows than spend their entire lives as husband and wife. When your marriage comes to an end, it can be difficult to deal with the sudden separation with the individual you promised to have and to hold. Moving on is never easy, but it can be done. The sooner you effectively move on with your life, the happier you will likely be post-marriage.

End the Drama

While a divorce may seem like the end of the world, it is important to remember that it is not. To help yourself believe that there is life after divorce, don’t dramatize the situation. Dr. Phil suggests that men and women going through divorce avoid making overly dramatic statements, such as, “I will never survive this.” These statements only promote the development of a defeatist attitude and do nothing to set you on the road to recovery.

No More Second Guessing

Playing the “Woulda Shoulda” game will not get your marriage back. As you begin your new life, don’t second-guess every decision you made during the course of your marriage. By going through this mental instant replay process and questioning your every decision, you only inflict more emotional damage on your already scarred psyche.

Explore New Frontiers

While many divorcees see only the negatives of their newly single status, taking time to think about the positives can make coping with the change easier and allow you to move on more rapidly. To help yourself find a ray of sunshine through myriad rain clouds, create a list of things that you have always wanted to do. Make it a point to do as many of these things as you can. As you venture out and try new things, you will likely be too busy to think about your former flame.

Celebrate the Single Life

There was a time when divorcees hid their status as it was a sign of their failure as a wife. In today’s enlightened era, people do not blame women for the dissolution of a marriage. The “Psychology Today Magazine” suggests that women not hide their divorce, but instead celebrate it. The practice of throwing a divorce party has become popular. As your marriage draws to a close, send it out with a bang and a party.

Significance

Many women feel that they are entitled to at least a bit of post-divorce moping. While it may be tempting to take some time to feel sorry for yourself, you need to consider the impact that this blue period will have on the people around you. Most notably, your kids depend upon you for stability and support. Dr. Phil urges women who are leaving marriages to keep their chin up and avoid letting their dependent tots see them in emotional turmoil over the situation.