How to Talk to Your Kid About Sex

Step 1

Start talking about sex early, and use age-appropriate terminology when you do. For example, a very young child may only need to know that a “seed grows in a mommy’s tummy,” but older children will want to know more details.

Step 2

Use books as a guide. Books written for the purpose of talking to kids about sex include basic pictures of how things happen, including diagrams of the reproductive systems. They can act as a way to initiate the conversation if the right time hasn’t presented itself.

Step 3

Encourage questions. Your children are likely to have questions about sex. Answer them honestly.

Step 4

Place sex in the context of loving relationships. As adults, we know that not all sex happens inside relationships, but the sex that is most fulfilling usually does. Expand your discussion of sex to include dating, being in a relationship and caring about the other person. If you follow a religion that discourages or forbids premarital sex, include that in the discussion.

Step 5

Discuss the darker sides of sex. Include a discussion about rape, unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases and how to prevent them.

Step 6

Talk about images in the media and news that deal with sex. Situations in movies and the news can give you opportunities to talk about the topic. For example, if you see a movie that includes a scene where a young girl is pressured to have sex, you can discuss what your teen might have done in the situation–such as, how your daughter would have said no or what your son could have done if a girl said no.