Sex is a normal part of a loving marriage, but the key to a long-lasting, fulfilling and healthy sex-life is communication. Partners should openly discuss their sexual needs and wants with each other. Talking about sex isn’t always the easiest topic of conversation for married couples. Between running after the kids, working and trying to maintain a household, sex talks often fall at the bottom of the to-do list. Make your sex life a priority and get your husband motivated to talk about sex, whether you already enjoy your bedroom encounters or you’re looking to add some spice.
Make a plan. Let your husband know that you’d like to talk to him about sex. Don’t spring the conversation on your husband. Agree on a date and time to have the discussion.
Choose a neutral location that’s comfortable for you and your spouse to have the talk. The website for “Woman’s Day Magazine” suggests choosing a romantic setting, such as a restaurant. Avoid having the sex talk in the bedroom, as your husband may get defensive or feel incompetent.
Approach the conversation about sex with ease. Explain the reason for the sex talk. Give clear examples and ask questions that will engage your husband in the conversation.
Let him know what he’s doing right in the bedroom and what you’d like to change.
Give your husband an opportunity to give feedback, ask questions, offer suggestions and solutions. Don’t dominate the conversation or resort to criticizing or assigning blame, if there’s an issue in the bedroom.
Pay attention to the words you use during the talk, as well as your body language. Open, welcoming body language will help create a relaxed mood and make your husband feel less tense. Sit close, make eye contact and stroke his hand or arm gently to ease the mood.
Come up with actionable ways to improve your sex life with your spouse and discuss how you will implement them into your regular bedroom routines. Be open-minded and take your husband’s suggestions into consideration. Apply the ideas that you both agree upon but find ways to add other ideas into the mix later.
Keep the lines of communication open. Check in with your husband often to make sure his needs are being met in the bedroom. Let him know if your needs are not being met. Conversations about sex should be frequent.
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