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Advice for Men Going Through a Divorce

September 28, 2010 by ModernMom Staff Leave a Comment

Divorce isn’t easy for women or men. If you are dating a man who is going through a divorce, you can suffer right along with him. You might be able to help him if you understand some of what he is experiencing and by possibly giving him some advice. This can help him out and might smooth your relationship, too. Similarly, if you have a male friend who is going through a divorce, he might welcome some friendly advice.

Support Groups

Encourage your man to join a support group. You can find community groups, groups through religious organizations or privately sponsored groups. Men are 10 times more likely to commit suicide after divorce than women are, according to Warren Farrell, author of “Why Men Are the Way They Are,” as quoted on the CBS News website. Men who don’t go to the extreme of suicide are often depressed and begin working, drinking or gambling too much.

Therapy

If a support group is not enough, a man who just went through a divorce may need therapy. Therapy can help a man discover why he had conflict in the first place and can help him find ways to make meaningful changes in his life, Carl Allen Tippins, a Seattle therapist, says on the website of “Psychology Today.”

Children

Encourage the man you know to continue to see his children as much as possible. Men are usually the noncustodial parent after the divorce and can be especially concerned about their future relationship with their children.

Finances

Both parties in a divorce need to know all the financial details of the marriage. Usually, women receive the advice to set money aside and to keep copies of important documents, but this same advice applies to men, according to MSN Money. To prevent the man you know from having financial difficulties because of a bad divorce settlement, suggest that he figure out all of his assets and liabilities and then consult with a lawyer. Many men do not have to pay alimony anymore. That depends on the ex-wife’s financial situation. But men should look up the child support guidelines in their state to get an idea of what they may have to pay.

Prenuptial Agreement

Men who plan to remarry after going through a divorce might want to consider a prenuptial agreement. Women, as of 2007, are achieving financial parity–and then some–in divorce settlements, according to the Smart Money website. A good prenup allows a spouse with considerable assets to protect those assets while providing security for the new spouse he might support.

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