Are kids learning about sex from porn? This question came up on a Raising America segment I was on. I certainly hope they are not, but parents spend a fair amount of time dodging situations and conversations that might cause their kids to ask questions about – gasp – sex.
For unknown reasons, my kids can ask me any question and I never feel awkward or embarrassed. I also have this knack of being completely honest while framing the answer in age-appropriate terms. I don’t get thrown off my game. It’s quite a handy skill when you have six inquisitive children.
I always thought it would be better for my kids to know about sex the way farm kids do. Farm kids take part in calving season and understand why it is time for the bull to be released into the field of cows. It’s just so matter-of-fact, and that is appealing to me.
My plan to recreate farm life when it came to our family’s sex talk meant being able to teach our kids about the birds and the bees without them having any memory of being told. They would always just know. We may not have a barn at our house, but with six kids born in a relatively short amount of time, we definitely have a lot of, um, breeding.
The main motivation behind this idea of “just knowing” is so that my children wouldn’t have the moment they “found out” about sex etched in their memories. I didn’t want to stare into those questioning faces as they imagined their own parents partaking in such activities. I hoped to avoid the weeks that followed when their eyes darted, unable to make contact with ours – that period of time when they just couldn’t look at grown-ups the same way.
I did my research and found the book It’s NOT the Stork! by Robie H. Harris.It’s become a great tool – we read it together and discuss its contents. So even if my kids are not asking questions, I look for opportunities to serve up some answers anyway! It just feels right that I give the correct information before they learn the facts of life on the school bus or at summer camp.
How does the topic of sex get addressed in your household? Do you jump at the opportunity for conversation, or do you run and hide from your kids when they get that questioning look in their eyes?