• Skip to content
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Shop ModernMom
  • Become An Insider

ModernMom

The premiere destination for moms

  • Parenting
    • Pregnancy
    • Baby
    • Kids
    • Tweens and Teens
    • ModernMom Monday Videos
  • Cooking
  • Living Healthy
    • Breast Cancer
    • Health & Fitness
    • Body after Baby
    • Beauty
    • Relationships
    • Love
  • Lifestyle
    • Crafts
    • At Home
    • Education
    • Travel
    • Pets
    • Decorate
    • Money
    • Brooke Burke
  • Celebrate
    • Holidays
      • Easter
      • Valentine’s Day
      • New Year’s
      • Christmas
      • Hanukah
      • Halloween
      • Thanksgiving
    • Birthdays
    • Parties
  • Must Have
  • Contests
  • Entertainment

How to Help Your Kid Be Assertive, Not Rude…

June 16, 2010 by womenonthefence Leave a Comment

We all want assertive kids. We all want polite kids. We all want kids with great self esteem and a high confidence level. I am sure no one is on the fence here. Where the lines get blurred, is how to raise an assertive child, to teach them to get their needs met, without being obnoxious and rude. Here are five tips to raise assertive children that can stand up for themselves and are not rude.

Be the Role Model

Your children will copy you. So, if you want them to have integrity and assertiveness, model good behavior. Don’t be weak, your children will see it. Stand up for your beliefs and views, even if it means going against the grain. You have to explain to them that standing up for what they believe in may feel uncomfortable or strange, but it is the right way to go… to stand up for their own rights, and the rights of others.

Praise Your Children

Let your kids know that you value people who speak their mind. Positively reinforce their actions if they displayed good behavior, for example, “Jenny, I love how you spoke up for yourself when Tyler was being mean to you.” When you show your children you value and honor this type of behavior, they will better assert themselves.

Find Less Domineering Friends for Your Kids

If your child has the tendency to be a shyer, less assertive type, and seems to cling to a bossy and domineering friend, give him the opportunity and expose him to a less domineering friend. Not everyone may agree, but it has been proven to be a confidence booster if their spirit is not constantly being squashed by the aggressive playmate. Being around a less domineering friend may teach and encourage your child to speak up a little more.

Provide Leadership

New studies show that kids gain confidence by entering into individual sports, team sports, activities, extra-curricular activities, group projects etc. And the key factor behind it is… the earlier the better. So provide opportunities for your children to be a member of a team, or even the team captain. Encourage them to take charge of a project or even organize the schoolyard soccer game. There are other programs you can expose your children to such as public speaking, singing, acting classes, where they can demonstrate overt kinds of leadership. These have all been proven to boost confidence.

Teach The C.A.L.M. Assertion

Here are four steps that help kids stand up and speak up for themselves or others if verbally attacked. Here are the four steps to C.A.L.M.
C – Stay Cool. If you get upset, ticked off, cry, pout you don’t appear as confident.
A – Assert yourself. Teach your child a few comeback lines to say in different situations.
L – Look the person in the eye. The best way to appear more confident is by using eye contact.
M – Mean it. Teach your child the difference between how an insecure and a strong voice sound. Then encourage your child to assert himself using a strong and firm tone–but not yelling tone–to get his point across.

About the Author

With 18 years sales experience, and 14 years marketing experience, Erica Diamond was a born entrepreneur. After using a small savings from her first job as a Marketing Manager for a large corporation, Erica started Unique Corporate Gifts at 24 years old, a promotional products company, and sold it three years ago to Canada’s Largest Bag Retail Chain. Her ongoing volunteer work never tires her and she loves everything women, business and entrepreneurship related. She is a board member of her son’s school, has written three children’s books, and recently completed a television show that she is currently shopping around. Erica is a wife and mother of two young boys. Erica writes her own Blog, Women on the Fence gives Sales and Marketing Conferences for Entrepreneurs and young businesses, speaks publicly, and mentors other entrepreneurs.

Resources

  • Women on the Fence on ModernMom
  • Women on the Fence

Comments

comments

Filed Under: Parenting

About womenonthefence

Erica Diamond is the Founder and Editor-In-Chief of WomenOnTheFence.com, Entrepreneur, Author, Blogger, Speaker, Radio Correspondent, and Spokesperson. After enjoying seven years of great financial success with her Company, Erica sold her business in 2006 to Canada's Largest Bag Retail Chain. Her business journey along the way has awarded her a Young Entrepreneur Award, Top 30 under 30 Entrepreneur Award, Top 40 under 40 Entrepreneur Award nomination, among numerous others, and finally, The Profit Hot 50 Award - One of Canada's 50 Emerging Growth Companies. Erica Diamond is the author of the new release, The 99 Things Women Wish They Knew... Before Starting Their Own Business, endorsed by names such as Sarah Ferguson, The Duchess of York and Brooke Burke, and Suzy Welch. Women on the Fence was recently named FORBES TOP 100 SITES FOR WOMEN. Erica Diamond has been named 25 Best Twitter Feeds For Women, 50 Best Blogs By Women, and was recently named to the coveted list of THE TOP 20 WOMEN IN CANADA.

xoxEDxox

Reader Interactions

Primary Sidebar

Search

Tell a friend

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
ModernMom Boutique

ModernMom TV

Featured

What To Expect When You Are No Longer Expecting

The world is full of advice for pregnant and … [Read More...] about What To Expect When You Are No Longer Expecting

Must Have

STEM-related Toys to Include in Your Child’s Easter Basket This Year 

April has arrived which means it’s time to pull out the food … [Read More...] about STEM-related Toys to Include in Your Child’s Easter Basket This Year 

Did you know?

Refrigerate Fresh Lemon Juice

How Long Can You Refrigerate Fresh Lemon Juice?

Child Too Big for a Toddler Bed

When Is a Child Too Big for a Toddler Bed?

Calories Burned Sitting in a Steam Sauna

The Calories Burned Sitting in a Steam Sauna for 15 Minutes

Breast Pains & Pregnancy

Breast Pains & Pregnancy

How Long to Bake a Pre-Cooked Frozen Casserole?

Advantages & Disadvantages for Children in a Single-Parent Family

what type of vitamins help fertility

What Type of Vitamins Help Fertility?

Footer

  • About Us
  • Contact ModernMom
  • Advertise With Us
  • Press
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Contributors

Copyright © 2023 Modern Mom. All Rights Reserved.

Reproduction of any portion of this website only at the express permission of Mom, Inc.

The information provided on ModernMom is for educational use only. It should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.