POSTPARTUM AND THE TRANSITION OF BIRTH
During childbirth a major life transformation takes place ,not only have you just birthed a baby but you also gave birth to yourself as a mother. Part of the old you and your old life is gone, you just gave birth to a new you and life but aren’t sure who or what that is yet. Post partum is a time to integrate the new, let go of the old and slowly find your way.
Just like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon doesn’t fly right away, instead it hangs on for a bit Slowly integrating the new form it has taken before flying off into the world.
As exciting and joyful as it is to finally hold your child in your arms, Post partum can also be challenging at times. It is a time where everything is in flux. Your present body is not your pre pregnancy body nor is it how your body will be, your hormones are all out of whack, your baby is here but not fully awake and of this world yet, your relationship and family is under going a change while you blend this new being and new you into the mix, your sleep is erratic leaving you sleep deprived, Your emotions are up and down, You might start feeling things and looking at the world differently then you had in the past, Your old priorities aren’t as important to you as they once were and you just don’t have the time or energy you once had.
This time is only temporary!! This is not how your life is going to be forever!!!
Whenever I think of the post partum period I always remember a vision I saw in the movie “The mists of Avalon “. The vision is of a woman alone in a boat, just having left her known and very comfortable land and is now heading for new unknown territory that holds her new life. Lots of water and a heavy mist separate the two lands. She knows that there is a new land ahead of her but cant see it, every once in a while the Mist parts allowing her to see glimpses of what lies ahead. As each day passes the mist begin to clear ,the boat inches closer to the new land and she eventually gets off the boat starting her new life.
. – THINGS TO HELP WITH THE TRANSITION
SURRENDER AND CARVE OUT SOME TIME AND SPACE – I have found that my clients who make the time to surrender using this time to rest, bond and getting to know their baby have a much smoother and enjoyable time then the ones who just want to get back to their old life. Like I said earlier part of your old life and you are gone and the new you isn’t fully here yet. When you can just be in the now, feel and slowly integrate all the new, you will find your way with ease.
SEEK SUPPORT – Now a days there are wonderful places and people that can help you with everything from breast feeding to baby care or whatever you need help with. Ask friends that have gone thru it before you to help if you don’t know how to do something . Again you are finding your way .. If you are emotional talk to someone either a therapist or a compassionate friend , it always helps to get your feelings out .
RECEIVE HELP– your friends and family will all want to help and be there for you during this time. Learn to receive, don’t be shy with asking for help. Keep a list of things you need handy by the phone .Can you remember a time when you were there for someone and how good that made you feel to be able to help them? Let others be there for you, you are giving them a gift by letting them be of service to you.
FIND COMFROT IN A HUG – is hard when you are exhausted, sleep deprived and to be they’re for each other. But by just by simply lying in each other’s arm and holding each other it not only feels good and is comforting but is a way to connect with out having to put out a lot energy.
GET FRESH AIR – There is nothing better then a little sunshine, exercise and fresh air to help lift the spirit.
IT IS TEMPORARY – This is not how you life is going to be forever, again you are finding your way. Just like when you move to a new city it takes a few months to get comfortable and adjust the same goes for having a baby. This too shall pass, before you know it they will be teenagers giving you a hard time and you will be wishing they were newborns again!!! 🙂
