• Skip to content
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • Shop ModernMom
  • Become An Insider

ModernMom

The premiere destination for moms

  • Parenting
    • Pregnancy
    • Baby
    • Kids
    • Tweens and Teens
    • ModernMom Monday Videos
  • Cooking
  • Living Healthy
    • Breast Cancer
    • Health & Fitness
    • Body after Baby
    • Beauty
    • Relationships
    • Love
  • Lifestyle
    • Crafts
    • At Home
    • Education
    • Travel
    • Pets
    • Decorate
    • Money
    • Brooke Burke
  • Celebrate
    • Holidays
      • Easter
      • Valentine’s Day
      • New Year’s
      • Christmas
      • Hanukah
      • Halloween
      • Thanksgiving
    • Birthdays
    • Parties
  • Must Have
  • Contests
  • Entertainment

It’s Time to Stop the Babying

February 14, 2016 by Risa Green Leave a Comment

There’s something about the second kid – well, second in my case, but I guess what I really mean is the last kid – that just makes you want to baby them.

With my first, it was all about becoming a big girl and teaching her new things and looking ahead to what was next.  But with the last kid, you already know what’s coming next; what’s coming next is a kid who needs you less and less, a kid who you can’t believe has gotten so big, a kid who isn’t a baby anymore and will never be again.  Hence, the desire to keep them babies for as long as possible, to delay the inevitable, to make yourself feel like you still have a little one, even though you actually don’t.

My son is seven years old.  He’s one of the tallest kids in his class and could easily pass for a nine year-old.  He uses words like “cryptic” and “hostile” in conversation.  And yet, I still put his shoes on for him every morning.  I still make his bed.  I still get snacks for him out of the cupboard, even though they’re in child-friendly containers at child-height.  I didn’t do any of these things for my daughter when she was seven.  When she turned seven, I got her an alarm clock and told her that she was old enough to get herself up and dressed every day.  But my son, well, I still wake him up every morning with little baby kisses all over his head.  I don’t dress him anymore, but I do put his clothes on his bed so he doesn’t have to get up and find them, and I put the toothpaste on his toothbrush for him.

Part of this is just a result of the fact that I have two very different children.  My daughter is independent and strong-willed and has wanted to be sixteen since she was three.  As a toddler, her favorite phrase was “my do it!” anytime I tried to do anything for her.  When she was six, she asked for chores so that she could start earning an allowance.  When she was eight, she took off for sleepaway camp.  My son, however, is less interested in growing up.  His favorite phrase has always been “you do it,” and he has no desire to earn an allowance.  I have trouble even imagining a day when he would want to go away to camp.

I do realize, of course, that another part of this – perhaps a bigger part than I want to admit – is that by pushing my daughter I’ve caused her to be more independent, and by babying of my son I’ve made him feel like he’s less capable than he actually is.  Which can’t be a good thing for him in the long run.

So I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s time for some tough love.  It’s time for me to stop acting like he’s still three, and start treating him like the seven year-old he is.  Not that I’m going to send him out to get a factory job or anything, but I think an alarm clock and a tie-your-own-shoes rule are definitely in order.  I’m not going to like it, and he’s really not going to like it.  But, I don’t think I have a choice.  Because if I continue down this road with him, the only foreseeable outcome is that he ends up as a grown man who can’t take care of himself.  And really, is there anything worse than that?

Comments

comments

Filed Under: Parenting

About Risa Green

Risa Green. She is a critically acclaimed author who lives in Los Angeles. Her previous adult novels, "Notes from the Underbelly" and "Tales from the Crib" were made into a television series. Her latest novel, The Secret Society of the Pink Crystal Ball, is a Young Adult book.

Reader Interactions

Primary Sidebar

Tell a friend

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Search

ModernMom Boutique

ModernMom TV

Featured

10 Things Nobody Will Tell You About Having A Baby

After reading "20 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Had Kids," I … [Read More...] about 10 Things Nobody Will Tell You About Having A Baby

Must Have

winter

Pre-Holiday Must-Haves

"It's beginning to look  a lot like Christmas..." The … [Read More...] about Pre-Holiday Must-Haves

Did you know?

How to Take Wrinkles Out of Polyester With Steam

Mild Cramping During Early Stages of Pregnancy

Functions of Flour in Baking

What Are the Functions of Flour in Baking?

When Can a Baby Hear in the Womb

When Can a Baby Hear in the Womb ?

women get pregnant if she Is not ovulating

Can a Women Get Pregnant if She Is Not Ovulating?

pregnant while not ovulating

Can I Get Pregnant While Not Ovulating?

Advantages & Disadvantages for Children in a Single-Parent Family

Footer

  • About Us
  • Contact ModernMom
  • Advertise With Us
  • Press
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Contributors

Copyright © 2021 Modern Mom. All Rights Reserved.

Reproduction of any portion of this website only at the express permission of Mom, Inc.

The information provided on ModernMom is for educational use only. It should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.