Parent coaching is a vital tool that moms and dads alike need to raise children.
As parents, we have many tools we use to raise children: teaching, advocating, counseling, discipling, etc.
But oftentimes, we leave out coaching.
Coaching empowers teens to become more self-aware, independent, and resilient. Through powerful questions and goal-focused strategies, families can effectively navigate challenges and progress towards a thriving future.
When parents learn to be coaches, they equip themselves to support their child’s success.
How to Become a “Parent-Coach” to Your Own Child
So how do you act as a “parent coach” to your own children? Let me break it down into 4 steps:
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Understand the Coaching Mindset
Shift your mindset from “fixing” your children to empowering them. This means that you start asking your children open-ended questions when difficulties arise.
For instance, when they are struggling with taking tests, you can ask: “What do you think is causing this?” or “What could help you feel more confident next time?”
Embrace curiosity over control. You’re walking with your child, not pulling or pushing them.
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Develop Core Coaching Skills
Then, you need to develop several core coaching skills. These include:
- Active Listening – listening without interrupting or judging to create safe, open dialogue
- Reflective Questions – prompting your child to discover their own solutions
- Validation – acknowledging your child’s feelings before guiding behavior
- Accountability – encouraging them to take ownership of actions and follow through on plans
These techniques empower teens to progress towards success on their own, so they can excel now and in the future.
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Use the “coach hat” intentionally
Don’t make every moment a coaching moment; instead, rely on it only when it’s needed.
Then, when you go to use it, clarify to your teen what you are doing. Ask them, “Can I coach you through this instead of just telling you what I think?”
You should set coaching sessions apart from daily parenting moments. Make each instance intentional.
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Practice Self-Coaching First
Before guiding your child, learn to regulate your own emotions and responses. Pay attention to how you typically respond to your child. Are you reacting to them rapidly? Or do you need to slow down your reply time?
When you learn to do this, you open up space for coaching opportunities.
You also model resilience, a growth mindset, and calm problem-solving to your children.
Resources to Grow Your Skills
So, how do you learn to become a parent coach?
You can find training resources through organizations that focus on family life coaching, parent education, or positive discipline. Here are a few programs I would recommend:
- Family Life Coaching Association (FLCA): The FLCA offers a framework for coaching within family systems.
- International Coaching Federation (ICF): While not specific to parenting, their foundational coaching training is gold-standard and widely respected.
- Parent Coaching Institute (PCI): This provides a certified parent coach program. The coaches there are very practical at working with families to help them apply coaching to parenting.
- Positive Discipline Parent Educator Certification: Based on Adlerian psychology, this program helps parents learn how to guide behavior through connection and respect.
- Conscious Parenting Coaching by Dr. Shefali: Her research focuses on inner work and using mindfulness to guide children through awareness and connection.
Learning from a Parent Coach
Parent coaching is more than just doing this on your own, though. It can also be a collaborative journey where a trained coach supports you.
An outside coach can help you to practice skills such as communication, problem-solving, and emotional regulation.
They collaborate with parents to create customized plans for a family’s goals and challenges. Coaches then focus on solution-oriented strategies that empower you to understand and utilize your strengths.
Coaches provide purposeful questions, long-term strategies, and accountability that enables families to have sustainable growth.
In my career, I have seen the power of coaching firsthand. I have worked as a family life coach for more than a decade, counseling youth of all ages at churches, public, charter, and alternative schools, the court system, and more.
I’ve created and implemented coaching programs both virtually and in-person for students from fifth grade through college. My job is to partner with families—not to lead them—but to walk alongside them as they grow.
Coaches are there to help you be intentional in the way you support your children.
Training from a coach will give you the tools you need to lead—but the biggest transformation comes when you show up with a coaching heart: calm, curious, and committed to your child’s growth.
Are you interested in learning how to coach your teens through their next big step? Learn more at https://project-arrow.teachable.com or reach out to gale@project-arrow.com.
