Parents, have you ever taken time to really reflect on yourself? What about reflecting on your kids?
Reflection is the process of reviewing and evaluating what is going well now and what you wish your family would have done differently in the past. When you evaluate your past and present, you can decide what needs to be put in place now to change the future.
Reflection offers a space where you can look both back and ahead—with honesty, grace, and intentionality.
This mental exercise enables you and your family to become who you dream of being.
Reflection isn’t something to put off, though; it’s a habit you should prioritize now. Here are three reasons why:
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We are in the perfect season for reflection.
Summertime is the time to reflect.
You can use the summer as a chance to press pause and evaluate the best path forward. The season enables families to reconnect.
Whether you are lying by the pool, enjoying the sunny days, watching movies, or taking trips together, you have extra space to observe. With no school in session, you can truly watch your kids to see who they are. And who they are becoming.
The break gives you time to think on how you can build your family up. You have more time at meals to listen sincerely, smile wider, and talk longer.
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You can acknowledge recent wins and losses.
By reflecting now, you can look at what went well and not so well from this past school year.
Did your kids get the grades they wanted? Did you show up for them as much as you hoped to?
Celebrate each win from last year and acknowledge the effort your family has put in. Your family made it through.
Then balance this by looking at what you wish you had done differently. Don’t wallow in any losses; instead, consider what these reveal about the character, personality, habits, and trends within your family.
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You can put plans in place for the fall semester.
While you’re in the perfect season to look back, you’re likewise in the perfect position to plan ahead.
Before new challenges pop up this fall, take stock of what your teens need now to be prepared for the next semester. Make a plan for how you can set them up for success emotionally, socially, and spiritually.
As you create your strategy, keep in mind, it can do more than just prepare them for the next grade. It can lay down foundations that have life-long impacts.
How to Effectively Reflect
Now you know the why behind reflections, here’s how you can do it:
Start by looking at who your teen is becoming.
To fully reflect on your teen, you need to think past who they are on the outside. Think about what their actions, habits, and moods are showing you.
See beyond the obvious, instead consider: who will they be when they grow up? Will they be someone who bases their worth on more than just a college degree or career?
Teens need more than just tools to navigate school and jobs; they need the resources to overcome life’s difficulties and challenges.
Parenting is about raising teens with character: resilience, honesty, kindness, confidence, bravery, and so much more. Are we cultivating these traits in our teens?
Then, look at how you are doing as a parent.
Are you parenting in a way inspires and creates these traits?
Kids become adults one day at a time. Our presence continually matters to them and who they are becoming.
Ask yourself:
- Are you showing up for your teens during transitions, such as from middle school to high school?
- Are you parenting just to discipline your teens or to be there for them?
- How can you share wisdom without lecturing them?
- What does having a meaningful presence look like for your family?
Teens need parents who have confidence in them. They want to know you believe that they can do hard things. And when they are unsure how, they want to be able to turn to you for guidance.
So, this summer, I encourage you to take a moment and think. How can you best be there for your teens?
