Did you see fourteen year old Phoebe Prince on the cover of PEOPLE magazine several times? She's the 15-year-old teen that committed suicide after being bullied at her school. Now, many of the administrators at the school are resigning, because they are being blamed for her death. Is it the school's fault?
Did you see fourteen year old Phoebe Prince on the cover of PEOPLE magazine several times? She's the 15-year-old teen that committed suicide after being bullied at her school. Now, many of the administrators at the school are resigning, because they are being blamed for her death. Is it the school's fault?
Phoebe
Phoebe Prince had recently moved from Ireland to Massachusetts and the day before her suicide, went to an administrator asking to go home. That person declined her request, sending her back to class. She apparently told the administrator she was afraid to get beat up, but they still told her to stay. Detractors are now saying it was the school's fault, and that Phoebe's suicide could have easily been prevented if they had nipped the bullying in the bud. Even scarier, is what happened to Phoebe is not at all uncommon. Look at these horrifying facts:
Bullying Facts
160,000 children miss school every day due to fear of attack or intimidation by other students. 85 percent of girls and 76 percent of boys have been sexually harassed in some form, and only 18 percent of those incidents were perpetrated by an adult. One in seven students is either a bully or a victim. 71 percent of students report incidents of bullying as a problem at their school. Bullying is reaching epidemic levels in the American school systems. Teachers and schools are taking the heat right now for unchecked bullying — but what about parents and the home where the birth of a bully begins, the media, local community, and the individuals who bully?
Here's How You Can Help
Malcolm Gauld, president of Hyde Schools, a network of prep and charter schools focused on character education and leadership development believes the answers to stopping bullying lie in the hands of parents and a child's primary influencers in life — the adults, parents, teachers, coaches and mentors: "What we pay attention to is what we reinforce in our homes, schools, and athletic arenas,” says Gauld. “Adults who recognize that it is possible to guide children in creating a positive peer culture, where principles are at the core of relationships and concern runs far deeper than for just oneself or one’s own and is extended to others understand this very basic concept. Most adults — without even knowing it — are, at best, paying this concept lip service.”
Create an Honest Environment
Gauld suggests first steps to prevent bullying can start in our daily interactions. Here's what he suggests: Raise the issues we often avoid in our daily interactions. There is no need to wait for bullying, cheating, disrespect to occur. Discuss these issues and the expectations we have of one another in order to be members of a home or community. Next, clearly define the values that are important in the environment you are trying to create — talk about them; provide opportunities for discussing how we use them or have failed to use them in our daily lives. Never kid a kid. Regardless of whether a child can figure out the quadratic equation we want them to solve, they will never misread our true expectations of them. They simply establish their priorities in accordance with ours. Prioritize attitude over aptitude, effort over ability, character over talent. Really! Overhaul, or better yet, flat-out junk what you’ve got and begin anew with fresh priorities. “We care more about what kids can do than about who they are,” says Gauld. “And they know it. They know that we’re totally focused on improving their test scores. On some level they might sense that we’d also like them to develop their character, but they know it’s really only the ”Suggested Reading” section of the syllabus.” “An honest and positive school and home environment where kids and family members look out for each other is possible,” says Gauld. “The kids can't do it by themselves. We cannot do it for them. But we can form a partnership with communities and schools that gets it done."
About Malcolm Gauld
For more information about Malcolm Gauld, his work, or Hyde Schools, contact Rose Mulligan at rrmulli@yahoo.com, call (207) 837-9441 or visit greatparenting101.com and www.hyde.edu.
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