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I cant tell you how many times I have come across people that are unable to express, process or understand their feelings. Most often it stems from our childhood, little girls are taught to be quiet and good while boys are to be tough as nails. As time goes on we embody this way of life and become shut down adults repeating and passing on all that we know and do to our children.

If we are unable to feel, express and be ok with our feelings then how will we ever be ok with allowing our children, partner or friends to have theirs as well as to be able to be there for them when they have them? You can’t be there for another unless you can first be there for yourself.


When you start to feel something like sadness, anger, frustration or loneliness – What do you do? Do you allow your self to sit and be with the uncomfortable feelings? Do you do anything you can think of to numb out? Do you act out from an emotional place by throwing your feelings onto someone else or do you focus on other people’s problems so you don’t have to feel your own? We will do anything to not feel, however the longer we avoid it, the heavier it will pile up growing bigger as time goes on depression and anxiety starts to set in.

It doesn’t have to be this way. When you can sit there and be with all your uncomfortable feelings, just allowing, acknowledging and feeling them, the energy will begin to shift and the quicker it will pass. It’s like the drug addict or the alcoholic the addiction is just numbing out the pain but its still there, the longer they use the bigger the pain grows but when they can put down the glass or stop with the pills they can finally feel and then clear.

Every week I teach a transformative healing yoga classes. I have my students do long deep holds and breathe into their pain. They sit with it, breathing as their body begins to open. I then have them ask, “ What’s under the pain?” They always hear or see something like anger, frustration, sadness or hurt. I have them breathe into the feeling and explore where the root is coming from. Soon their pain begins to go away and their bodies begin to soften. I often use this as a metaphor as a philosophy for life. Just sit, be, feel and clear.

Another great tool I use for getting in touch with our feelings is to draw or paint them. This allows you to express yourself in a lighter, creative and fun way. If you want to explore even deeper after you draw your feelings you can then journal about them. I am big on getting it out of your body and mind and putting it on to paper. This is wonderful exercise to use with children. Sometimes kids don’t understand what they are feeling but you can always give them some crayons and some paper and ask them to show you what they are feeling then talk about it with them after.

artist – Siena Rose age 5


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