Valentines Day is one of the worst days of the year for those going through separation or divorce. Hearts are in the air, store windows are plastered with pink and red, chocolates and roses are prominently displayed for purchase in grocery stores.

Romance and love seem to be the only topic of conversation during this time – which can leave those who don’t have it feeling left out and depressed.

The incredible influx of Valentine’s Day paraphernalia makes it seem as though there is no one in the world who is not in love and in an everlasting relationship.

In essence: Valentine’s Day and divorce can feel like a cruel joke.

It’s easy to spiral into negative thinking on Valentine’s Day, particularly if it is your first one without your ex. But don’t despair, fellow naysayers, Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to feel like the saddest day of the year, and you certainly don’t have to be in a relationship to reap the benefits of this lover’s holiday.

With a little planning and preparation, Valentine’s Day can be a better than average day for you. Here’s what you can do:

1. Send yourself something special: flowers, candy, or even a card.

2. Plan a lunch with a friend or elderly relative, or dinner with single friends.

3. Stay home with a few funny movies and popcorn.

4. Make a special Valentine’s Day project with your children.

5. Treat yourself to a spa day or massage. You are worth it.

On the flip side, here are a few things to definitely avoid: 

1. Don’t go out on a first or second date for Valentine’s Day. It’s simply too much pressure.

2. Don’t go to places where you will be bombarded with huggy, kissy couples. It will get you down.

3. Don’t spend the evening watching sappy romance movies. Remember, those stories are fictional!

4. Don’t contact your ex. It’s just a bad idea and it will almost certainly be painful. 

Overall, remember that divorce is a transition. Your relationship status on Valentine’s Day is in no way a reflection on who you are.

Happy Valentine’s Day.