Few things in life are more upsetting than seeing an endless series of negative pregnancy tests when you want a family more than anything. Knowing you’re not pregnant, especially if you sincerely believed you were, can be a difficult obstacle to get past. Each woman deals with conception problems in different ways, but a proactive approach that allows for plenty of time to process and deal with your feelings without dwelling on them will help you get past this rough patch.
Accept that infertility is a life-changing problem, and that your feelings are normal. Allow yourself some time to grieve and feel what you feel without guilt or shame. Once you start to feel better, make a decision not to dwell on the negative. Acknowledge and accept your feelings as they arise, but also acknowledge that those feelings will pass.
Do not blame yourself for not being pregnant. Your body and your life circumstances are special to you. Blaming yourself is a self-destructive pattern, according to BabyCenter. Remember that the functions of your reproductive system are not under your control. Self-blame wastes valuable energy, and the increased stress it brings can actually make conception more difficult.
Decide how you want to approach your infertility. If you’re determined to keep trying, be proactive and schedule appointments with infertility specialists. Read books and websites about infertility and feel confident that you’re doing everything you can. If you need to take a break from tying to conceive, steer clear of baby-related activities and information and, instead, focus in on your other interests.
Reach out to other women in your community or online. Internet forums, infertility websites and community support groups can put you in touch with other women who know what you’re going through. You can share your story, get advice and learn how others deal with similar feelings.
Schedule an appointment to talk to a counselor or therapist if you’re having trouble coping, or if you’re concerned about depression. A therapist can help you process your emotions and give you tool to help deal with difficult emotions.
Keep communication open with your partner. While you may feel like your partner can’t really understand how you feel, you can still rely on the love and support. It’s likely that your partner has some similar feelings and concerns about the conception process and wants you to move forward together.