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4 Facebook Mistakes New Parents Make

July 21, 2010 by DrAndreaBonior Leave a Comment

After you become a parent, it seems your Facebook personality can grow a new life as well. All of a sudden, you’re faced with an unbeatable way to share pictures of your little one, join the cause of boycotting those unsafe sippy cups, and check out who else is up at the ungodly hours you’re now intimately familiar with. And that’s all fine and good. But certain common behaviors among new parents can spell trouble. Are you guilty of any?
 
1. Paging Dr. Facebook: It’s one thing to ask if anyone in your friend circle has experience dealing with croup, or to survey some opinions on which vitamin brands go down best. It’s quite another to treat your friend list like it’s the American Academy of Pediatrics. (Unless, of course, your friend list actually is The American Academy of Pediatrics.) Let’s repeat: Facebook doesn’t wear a white lab coat. Quite simply, if your baby has symptoms you’re concerned about, refer to a physician, not a wall post. 
2. Investing in Embarrassment: Yes, we all swore that we’d never be that parent: the one giving details of their child’s every diaper, the one broadcasting every adorable-but-inappropriate thing their kiddo says. But on Facebook, these moms and dads are a dime a dozen—and worst of all, their kids don’t have a say, or recourse. Before you post that picture proving how far little Addison puked, or detail the embarrassing mistake your 4 year-old made with his underwear, think of those children ten years from now. And how it’s generally easier if they don’t hate you.  
3. Forgetting Privacy Settings: The numbers are shocking: a huge amount of people refuse to take advantage of the privacy settings that can keep their coworkers, strangers, or—let’s face it—their strange coworkers– from ogling all aspects of their Facebook lives. But when your kids are involved, there’s no excuse not to. It’s not just you anymore– and what’s a more important part of parenthood than trying your best to keep your children safe? 
4. All Baby, All the Time: You might feel connected to other parents in a way that you’ve never felt before, and you might even feel a new purpose in parenthood that seems to suit you better than anything in the world. And perhaps you even like looking at pictures of your child more than pictures of yourself (you still haven’t figured out that bangs situation.) But holding on to your non-parent friends is important, too, for your own sanity. And if you don’t ever post anything that makes people remember you’re a person aside from your child, you’re not doing much to keep that connection going. And isn’t keeping connections going the whole purpose of Facebook?

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Filed Under: Parenting

About DrAndreaBonior

Andrea (Gaynor) Bonior is a licensed clinical psychologist, professor, and writer. For more than five years, Dr. Bonior has written the twice-weekly mental health column Baggage Check for the Washington Posts Express newspaper, known for its wit and frequent pop culture references. Shes frequently cited in other media, with her expertise most recently appearing on CNN.com, MSNBC.com, Yahoo!, and Voice of America, and she makes regular appearances on Washington, DCs Lets Talk Live. Her first book, The Friendship Fix: The Complete Guide to Choosing, Losing, and Keeping Up With Your Friends (Thomas Dunne/St. Martins), is due out this Winter. In addition to serving on the adjunct faculty of Georgetown University, she maintains a private clinical psychology practice.

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