How many people do you know that are trying to lose weight? So many people want to lose weight. They want to shed pounds, feel better, look better, get fit and so on. People will buy books about it, join a gym, complain to their co-workers about it, buy products, consult with doctors, try new diets, try new pills, and try a new exercise program. And yet, they don’t lose weight – or they do but then they don’t keep it off.

It’s so common for people to be stuck in this weight loss cycle for years. 30 pounds lost, 28 pounds gained back. 17 pounds lost, 20 gained back. It’s like an ongoing zero sum game where you go down on an escalator at Macy’s, just to turn around and go right back up again. Why does this happen?

Something is not right in this equation that we’re being sold from all directions about how to lose the weight we want. We’re promised over and over again that this diet or this exercise sequence will help us to shed pounds easily, solve all our problems, and in 6 short weeks we’ll look like the slim young woman or the buff guy on the exercise video from HSN.

But here is the key. A big piece of this comes down to priorities. In spite of a sincere desire to feel and look different, it just isn’t enough of a priority.We can talk all we want about how we really want to lose weight and how we are thinking about really getting serious with the diet advice or exercise suggestions. But at the end of the day, you’re not losing the weight because it’s not really your priority to do so. You don’t lose weight because the chocolate mousse that was served at your best friend’s dinner party over the weekend was more important to you than losing weight. Eating the tacos, chips, dips and Margaritas your neighbors served at their Cinco de Mayo party was more important to you than losing weight.

One of the biggest tricks to losing weight and keeping it off is to really shift these priorities. So the next time you feel frustrated about the glimpse you catch of your profile in the mirror, don’t lament about how the last diet you tried didn’t work, but sit down and make a list of your priorities in life. What are the 10 most important things to you in your life? Is your health and weight really on that list? If so, where is it? If not, don’t kid yourself into thinking you can lose weight successfully. Really work with your priority list. Be ruthlessly honest with yourself. Look at your actions as the evidence for which priorities truly belongs where. Once you get that sense of where your priorities have been, you are in a much better place to decide where you want them to be. There is no right or wrong answer. If you come to realize that weight loss and fitness are not a priority, that is okay. But, if you want to lose weight and get fit, this is the first step in the right direction.