Bathroom company Victoria Plumb (UK) has proven what many women have always suspected. Their survey of 2,000 people found that 30% of men deliberately sabotage domestic chores to avoid being asked to do them again.
The chores these naughty fellows admitted to intentionally performing poorly, not surprisingly, include the jobs we all hate doing – cleaning the toilet, loading the dishwasher, and vacuuming.
Unless you are one of those lucky women who is partnered with a clean freak, the results of this study are unlikely to be news to you. However, before you cry foul, have a good look in the mirror and ask, ‘Am I to blame?’
I’m sorry if I offend, but I will call it as I see it. I am talking about those of you (or maybe your own moms and grandmoms) who do everything for your kids without teaching them how to contribute to the home – after all, “Family is a Team Sport,” so why don’t we insist that our kids contribute to the household? Just remember, my sons will grow up and want to marry your daughters – so let’s make sure they all know how to run a house. I am also talking to the women who perpetuate this learned laziness in their partners by not expecting and demanding that they do the job properly.
Let’s take the ‘floordrobe’ as an example. How many times have you caught yourself saying ‘Your clothes are all over the floor – what’s clean? What’s dirty? Why has the wardrobe reproduced and given birth on the floor?’ And then what do you do? Well, you pick up the clothes and sort them out. You know you do this. Is it any wonder that your partner and/or kids don’t pick up after themselves (or properly vacuum, clean the bathroom or load the dishwasher)? If you were living in a hotel where everything you left lying around was (miraculously it seems) collected, washed, refreshed, and re-hung every single day, you would probably leave your stuff on the floor too.
I am not blaming you. I am just telling you that you might be a major part of the problem.
Rather than insisting on your partners (and kids) contributing and doing the job properly, you suck it up, move on and do the job yourself. They are probably seething with resentment. The Victoria Plum study supports this: finding that those men who deliberately do a bad job at the chores get away with it – with 25% admitting they no longer get asked to do the chores, and 64% saying they are only occasionally asked to help again.
As busy moms, it’s time to change your mantra – Family is a Team Sport – requiring every member to put in.