How do you handle twins and birthday parties?

As a mother of two sets of twins, the daughter of twins, and the daughter-in-law of twins (crazy, huh?) I’m tackling this issue with a lot of experience.

Here are a few of the most commonly asked questions:

1. If you invite a child to a birthday party, should you invite his or her twin as well, even if they are not in the same class?

When you are able to – YES. This is even more important when children are school age and twins are the same sex. Here’s why:

1. Twin friendships may become complicated and balancing triangulation (he’s MY friend, he’s YOUR friend) is often a challenge for parents of twins.

2. The following year, the twin class matching may switch (your kid ends up with the other twin).

3. Parents of twins (trust me) have a juggling act when one kid has a party and the other kid doesn’t.

4. Twins give double gifts (hee hee).

2. If you’re going to a twin-twin birthday party, but your kid only knows one of them, what do you do about gifts?

I do not think it is necessary to get both twins a separate gift if your child only has a relationship with one. A small token for the other twin is nice, or a gift both can share – but buying both gifts is really not necessary. I believe it is the host’s role to explain to both children how the “gift” thing works with twins.

3. If you are twin parent and going to a party with both kids, what about gifts?

As a mom of two sets, I simply buy one more expensive gift (instead of spending $20.00 I spend $40.00). This year I’ve been getting snow cone makers for our gifts. Yes, you should get either two separate gifts or in some way acknowledge the extension of the double invite.

4. What do you do if you can’t tell twins apart?

Ask the parent for a distinguishing characteristic. We’re used to it!