My 5yo just told me our house is a dump. I was hoping he’d be at least seven before he realized that.
— AstronAmy (@SpacePlankton) February 20, 2014
Always scared that the white noise machine over the baby monitor is going to start delivering messages from the dead like that movie.
— Bunmi Laditan (@BunmiLaditan) February 18, 2014
When I boast to my wife that I’m better at loading the dishwasher, I can’t help feeling that tho I may have won a battle, I’ve lost the war.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) February 19, 2014