That Mom

When my first set of twins was born seven years ago, I was super-duper organized.

I was That Mom – the one you hate because she sent her birth announcements out before the babies were a week old (with pictures). The one who made homemade baby food, took and sent out pictures of every baby moment, and had the perfectly adorable nursery decor and coordinating twin outfits (with bows) for every occasion.

I would have really annoyed the me of today.

Fast-forward three years, and I gave birth to a second set of twins, boys this time. And once again, I was That Mom.

That Mom, the one who forgets to RSVP to the birthday party invitation you sent, and then forces you to send her an email like this one:

Dear Jen:
I was hoping you could let me know if (redacted) were going to be able to attend (redacted’s) party tomorrow, as we have to submit a head count. Thanks!
Joanie

Later that same day, my sons’ daycare provider gently suggested that I check their “mailbox” in the classroom. In it I found:

• Receipt for paying daycare.
• Advertisements for enrichment classes.
• Forms on how many times my kids pooped, peed, and what they ate for the past three weeks.
• Birthday party INVITE from Joanie
• Note from Joanie: “Wondering if your boys are going to be able to come to the party?”
• Note from Joanie: “Hi Jen, hoping all is well, we don’t have the same schedule so I rarely see you at school. Hoping the boys can come to the party?”

Oh, the shame!

I sent Joanie an email back, letting her know how sorry I was that we couldn’t attend, and I know she understood — because she’s been there.

The “me” of seven years ago probably wouldn’t have been as kind, but that was before I understood what motherhood was really like. It can be messy and chaotic, but to embrace the whole we have to accept the parts that aren’t always perfect.

Everyone takes a turn at being That Mom.

XOXO Dr. Jen