A friend of mine recently pointed me towards a blog that’s been making some waves in the mommy-blog world. It’s called hisgiantmistake.com, and it chronicles the divorce of a woman named Cleo Everest (not her real name) as it happens.
It’s best to go back and read this blog from the beginning, as I did, as it’s meant to unfold as a story. A story which begins with her husband pocket-dialing her from a business trip, during which time she overhears him order a bottle of champagne to take back to “our” room. It turns out he’s been having an affair. And he loves her. And it’s been going on for four years.
Cleo’s experience is a mixed bag of emotions; there’s horror that this happened, there’s outrage, and there’s self-pity, of course. But then, after a few weeks have gone by, there’s a lot of really healthy soul-searching about how she came to be with a man who would do that to her, and how she can change herself so that it never happens again. As a reader, I was cheering for her, mentally giving her high-fives every time she pulled herself out of a rut, recognized that she was getting bogged down by negative thoughts, or remembered to view the whole experience as a gift that would help her to become a better, stronger, happier person.
But at the same time, as you read this, you can’t help but apply her lessons to your own life. I’m happily married, and my husband hasn’t cheated on me, but still, I have my own set of problems that bring me down, as we all do, and her blog reminds me that I don’t have to sit back and be a victim of my own fears.
She says, in one entry, “the mat at the door to this new floor of me didn’t say ‘Don’t Look’, it said ‘Don’t Fear’. I could venture in and sit, inviting all these beautiful emotions to lay with me while I stared up at the stars with a quiet mind to just feel. I felt totally safe. I knew my emotions wouldn’t devour me whole. They just wanted to be seen, heard and felt. Our relationship was no longer uncomfortable, and I came to understand how important it is to sit with them and let them be. I think they like my company.”
Nuggets like this, of course, are why this blog is both so compelling and empowering at the same time. It’s not just a woman scorned who’s taking out her bitterness and anger on a keyboard. That would be boring, and it’s been done.
Rather, hisgiantmistake is so good because it chronicles a journey; it’s a real-time account of how one, knocked-down woman picked herself up and has gone about changing herself for the better. And who can’t relate to that?