How Men and Women Communicate
Someone forwarded this to me, and I thought it was cute. These are words or gestures women commonly use in everyday conversation with men. While the words appear to mean one thing, we know they mean something completely different. Enjoy! Men, listen up!
1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football before helping around the house.
3. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
4. A Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer quickly to No 9 for the meaning of nothing.)
5. That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
6. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (Add a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’, which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ – that will bring on No. 7).
7. Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying, “F— YOU!”
8. Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to No. 4.
9. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in “Fine”.
Send this link to the men you know and love to warn them about tiffs they can AVOID if they remember the proper terminology!
Which leads us to the topic of communication. We all know good communication is key to a great relationship. But while most women tend to be good communicators, not all women are. Often women haven’t found their voice in their relationship and they suppress their true feelings, which leads to resentment, and then a whole volcanic erruption.
In my marriage, I have to say, I am the superior communicator. I’m an over-sharer and it’s a problem. I over-analyze, I over-think, I am a true beater of the dead horse! However, we can’t suppress what we are, we can just try and manage it. So, while I have no problem sharing my feelings with my husband in a sound and cohesive manner, he’s more of a “one-word-answer” kinda guy. God bless him.
Me: “Honey, how was your day.”
Him: “Fine.”
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Him: “Honey, how was your day.”
Me: “You’re never gonna believe what happened today… ” followed by a bunch of run-on sentences that never seem to end!
So how do you commmunicate in a balanced way? How do you avoid a communication breakdown in your relationship? How do you get your needs heard and met, and not allow things to slide under the rug and eventually lead to a volcanic eruption?
- Well, firstly, if you’re discussing something important, the common courtesy of eye contact is important. This really lets your partner know that you are LISTENING to what they are saying and hearing their needs. Couples who truly listen to each other and let the other speak without interrupting have fewer communication issues.
- Always start a discussion by acknowledging your appreciation for your partner. Tell them just how lucky you feel to have them in your lives and that you love them. Once the tone of your discussion is started off with these feelings out in the open, you’ll fight fairly, and discuss matters objectively.
- Tell your partner what you want and need from them. Ask them to listen without interrupting. Then switch – you ask your partner to tell you what they want and need from you. No cutting each other off. Relationships are two way streets. You should both be clear about each other’s expectations. This helps clear up any confusion and avoids arguments in the future. And be honest about what you need from your partner. Always be honest.
- Learn to compromise. Unfortunately, relationships are a two-way street. If you want to get your way, every day, enjoy YOUR OWN COMPANY for the rest of your life! But if you hope to share your life with someone, you’ll have to learn to compromise. No shortcuts here unfortunately. You’ll just have to watch the football game tonight WITH beer and nuts, if you hope to see that chick flick tomorrow night.
- Stop bringing up ancient history. It’s better to focus on the task at hand than to bring up old examples. If you have feelings about past issues, it’s important to resolve them and move on, and not to use them as weapons every time you have an argument with your partner.
- And finally, don’t shut down. I can’t tell you how many books and studies show that a major source of marriage failure is shutting the other person out. This includes, storming out of a room, refusing to talk, or any sort of withdrawing in the relationship. These are huge mistakes. When this becomes a regular pattern of communication, the consequences are very damaging.
So, if you’re feeling animosity or resentment today towards your spouse or partner, make the effort tonight to sit down and talk it out. If you’re feeling warm and fuzzy towards your spouse or partner today, enjoy those joyous feelings. Just always remember to communicate, and fight fairly!
Calling out all expert communicators… can any of you share your tips?
xoxEDxox
Erica Diamond
