Lately, there is one aspect of life that I have really grown tired of. Complaining. I am not talking about other people here. I am talking about myself. I don’t believe myself to be a big complainer. Does anyone though? That doesn’t change the fact that I am tired of hearing myself complain about life situations.
Most recently it was needing 4 new tires for our car. Obviously, I would rather not need new tires and save that money, or use it for just about anything else, but it is a fact of life. Honestly, looking back, I feel redonkulous for complaining about it. “Capisha Redonkulous? You know what that means?” [That one was for you, honey!] Follow the link to watch the video clip.
I’m so lucky to own a car that needs new tires and that gets me where I need to go, so enough of the complaining about things. Yes, even how hard it is to be a Mom sometimes! Complaining doesn’t change ANYTHING, so I’m over that and onto focusing on all the tremendous blessings in my life.
After reading A New Earth a few years ago, the teachings of Eckhart Tolle regarding complaining stood out to me.
“The ego loves to complain — but that which we focus on becomes stronger. So by focusing on the complaints, worries, concerns, etc., we make these conditions stronger. As Tolle said in his Webinar with Oprah, "complaining" is not done for the purpose of correcting a situation. That is something different. Complaining is done simply as the ego’s way of reinforcing its "rightness" and someone else’s "wrongness." ~ http://www.squidoo.com/eckharttollenewearth
In the past, I have thought if I complain about something, then I will feel better about it. I will have gotten it off my chest, so to speak. That is not truly the case though. Complaining doesn’t really make me feel better. It makes me feel worse. It intensifies that which is bothering me, and I certainly do not want to make those ‘conditions stronger’.
Complaining is a habit I would like to break. I don’t think it is going to be easy but I believe it is doable. I strongly have faith in the ripple effect that if I don’t complain so much maybe my kids won’t complain about dinner? OK, so that might be a pipe dream. I can’t control their feelings but I can control mine, and if staying positive, and biting my tongue when I feel the urge to complain keeps from intensifying negative feelings then it is worth a fair shot.
I’ll keep you posted on how I do. Although my gut is telling me this is going to be one of the hardest habits to break, I am taking it as a sign it might also be one of the most rewarding. Change is easier to accomplish when I have a good affirmation to combat the negative feelings when they arise. Give this one a try the next time you need to change directions with your thoughts: I lovingly fill my mind with thoughts of joy and peace. My favorite book for great positive affirmations is Heal Your Body by Louise Hay.
Wish me luck! <3
What are your thoughts? Do you think it is possible to talk about one’s feelings without complaining?