Does Isabella Have Two Mommies?

I wouldn’t consider myself politically driven or a huge social activist at this stage of my life, as a stay at home mom. But I am a huge proponent for gay rights. My view on gay rights stems completely out of love. I have been loved tremendously since conception by my Aunt D, who happens to be gay.
My Aunt is simply amazing. I have never met anyone with a bigger heart. She has devoted much of her life (and her heart) to me, my brother and my cousin. No event, big or small, has ever occurred without her presence. She has always been one of the first five people I call with either joyous or devastating news. She is always present, always encouraging and always proud. If you know me well, you cannot escape knowing and loving my Aunt D.
Twenty years ago she met her soul mate, my Aunt K. For the past twenty years their love has inspired me. Their ability to support one another through the difficult times, to communicate, to encourage the best in each other and to make each other laugh was something I always strived to have and luckily did find with my husband. My Aunt K is a loving, thoughtful soul and the best thing to ever happen to my Aunt D.
My Aunt’s sexuality was never discussed growing up. It wasn’t like it was avoided, it just was a non issue. We didn’t talk about any of my other aunts’ or uncles’ sexuality, so why would we talk about my Aunt D’s? We loved and accepted the women she dated before she found my Aunt K, just like we did with my straight uncle. My brother and I were raised with the knowledge that the majority of men date women and the majority of women date men. But there are women who date women and men who date men. We learned this with the same naturalness as we learned the alphabet or that 1+1=2.
My daughter, who is now three, is very precocious. She has an insatiable thirst for knowledge and is curious about everything. Her Aunt D and Aunt K are a huge part of her life. They are the Presidents of her fan club, and she of theirs. My little girl and I were chatting before bed one night, and she asked me something that had clearly been on her mind; “Mommy, is Aunt K Aunt D’s mommy?” Amused, I said, “No. Great Grandma is Aunt D’s mommy. Aunt K is Aunt D’s wife.” She then asked, “Girls can marry girls?” I said, “Yes, and boys can marry boys.” We then talked about my husband’s uncle and his partner and their daughter. She asked, “My cousin has two daddy’s?” I responded with a simple, “Yes.”
The issue was dropped, that is until we attended my daughter’s preschool Christmas party. The parents were invited to come to class and celebrate along with the kids. I was sitting with my daughter across from her friend Isabella. My daughter looked across the table and, seeing two women who were with Isabella, asked them as nonchalantly as if she were inquiring about the weather, “Does Isabella have two mommies?” Isabella’s mom’s face turned red, mostly I think because Isabella’s elderly nanny was the other woman with them. I quickly said, “No, that is Isabella’s mommy and her nanny.”
I found the situation humorous, and hopefully so did Isabella’s mom! But I was also really proud of my daughter and hopeful for her generation. I wish every adult saw the simplicity and the normalcy of the love my Aunt D and Aunt K share. My wish and prayer is that when my daughter is having bedtime conversations with her children, the fight for gay rights will be in the past, will be a non issue. For now, I feel we have an opportunity to teach our children love, acceptance and an appreciation for those who differ than us in some ways.
Post scriptum: We at kidslikeike.com, a website created to celebrate love and diversity with preschoolers, feel we that have a responsibility to represent preschoolers from all different families in our books. We also feel that it is important to expose preschoolers to different types of families in a fun way that will foster love and acceptance for all people. Please check out our new e-book, “Different Families Make the Universe Go Round,” as a tool to teach your preschoolers about different types of families.

Comments

comments

Leave a Reply