The invitations are in the mail for the Royal Wedding. No, I am not checking my mailbox everyday in hopes that I get one. After all, I need to be realistic- I did just move and some people still don’t have my new address. But it has got me thinking about what it is going to be like trying to put on weddings for my four daughters. The average cost of a wedding in 2011 is $24,066 and that is being very conservative.
The other night after watching a show about weddings, my daughter, Aidan, point blank asked me how much I was going to spend on her wedding. She told me I needed to be sure that her wedding fund had a minimum of $70,000. I wanted to tell her that she better hope I win the lottery if she thinks I am going to even have a wedding fund. Television and magazines are giving my daughters ideas of a “dream” wedding. Maybe it is time I worked on planting a few wedding ideas of my own in their minds.
Let’s start with the wedding dress. Vera Wang may be a designer that makes beautiful wedding gowns, but they are going to have to look for a Vera Wang knock off. Better yet, why don’t they wear my wedding dress? With its long puffy sleeves, tons of beads, big , full skirt, and a lovely bow the size of North America right on the butt, how can that not be the dream gown? I must have looked like Glenda the Good Witch from the Wizard of Oz. Somehow I need to get my daughters to stop thinking Vera Wang and start thinking of a new brand (which I will call “Oh Dang Not That Thang”). I can take the girls’ pretty, simple white confirmation dresses, add a few rhinestones, and create a simple one of a kind dress for the day. It will be hip and chic because it will be significantly shorter than the first time they wore it at the age of twelve. And I can’t help but think that with my experience over the years of making some pretty cool Halloween costumes that with a little white felt, pipe cleaners, sequins and a glue gun I could make a beautiful, one-of-a-kind wedding dress.
I know that the location of the wedding is important and can be quite costly. Luckily, there are no castles around here to rent, or I am sure that would be on one of my daughter’s list. I can only imagine her face when I tell her the only castle she is going to have her reception in is the bounce house castle I rented for her sister’s 8th birthday. Come to think of it that might actually be fun. Instead of a fancy reception we can do something fun and memorable. We could build a bonfire in the backyard and roast hotdogs and make s’mores. We will send the guests on a treasure hunt and play games. We don’t need to have a caterer, because I can make a mean batch of chili. I"ll even go all out and create “chili bar” where people can make a big bowl of chili topped with their choice of Fritos, cheese, onions, and sour cream. Oh yeah, this is going to be fun.
Loughlin was talking about a destination wedding in Paris. Why go to Paris when your mom can make anything, including the Eiffel Tower, out of a refrigerator box? I think a destination could be a lot of fun, but airfare, hotel, and all of that adds up. My kids have seen the great things I can do out of refrigerator boxes for birthday parties, imagine what I can do for a wedding.
Of course there is the issue of the cake. Who knew that a few boxes of Duncan Hines cake mix and some frosting could add up to be hundreds of dollars? I am not even going to touch that one because I am not much of a baker. But I did read that at the Royal Wedding it is a tradition that the top layer be Fruit Cake. I still have one in the pantry that came in a Christmas gift basket from about five years ago. If fruit cake is good enough for a royal couple, it is good enough for my girls!
I am just starting my list of ideas to help cut down the cost of all these weddings. I have plenty of time since I am not allowing any of my girls to even start dating before they are 30, but I figure a little pre-planning and planting of inexpensive ideas in their minds can be to my advantage. Just wait until I tell about entertainment. We don’t need to hire a band or DJ since their mom has been a radio host. I can play music and give weather reports the entire night for free! Lucky girls!