My Kids Can’t Afford Me!


Morning routine: kids demand breakfast. Mommy complies to the demands with some negotiation of fruit mixed in. Mommy empties the dishwasher while preparing and serving breakfast. Kids are seated and eating at the table. Mommy jaunts down the hall to throw some laundry in the washing machine, while trying not to trip over objects that have already made their way to the floor. The floor is probably magnetic!

Mommy seizes opportunity to quickly go to the bathroom BY HERSELF. Oh man! It didn’t work. As quick as Mommy is, the 5-year-old is even quicker, and he pops his head in the door. Did you know children have a sixth sense for that type of thing? It’s true. That is why their timing is so darn PERFECT!

“What is going on? Why aren’t you eating breakfast?”

“My sister spilled her cereal and milk all over the floor!”


“And she spilled her yogurt, TOO!”

“Ugh. Are you kidding me?! “

“It’s OK. My fault,” Mommy says with a hint of sarcasm.

Mommy starts talking to herself “What was I thinking leaving you guys alone in the dining area for all of 2 seconds? I mean, really. I should not do your laundry while you are awake. How rude of me! Washing your clothes should only be done while you are sleeping. Let me just add that to the ‘While the Kids Are Sleeping List’.

Next comes the crazy Mommy thoughts: “Can I charge extra for a bowl of cereal and yogurt all over the floor? Can I send them a bill? Late payments will be accepted. Who I am kidding–my kids can’t afford me!”

Back out to the kitchen Mommy goes to clean up the mess with the simple request that the children help her clean. Good habits start young after all, and who wouldn’t want kids to smear the mess over an even larger surface area to make cleaning more fun? And if Mommy is really lucky, the kids will skate around in the mess a little too so they can get their feet nicely covered and drag it further around the house, but that’s just on a good day.

Already a child is yelling from the bathroom at the top of her lungs, “Mommy come wipe me! Right NOW! Hurry Up! Open. The. Door!”

Mommy quickly sets down the breakfast she was about to shove down her throat. No one wants to leave a little one in the bathroom for long with too much time on their hands. We’ll just leave it at that.

The clock chimes 7:30am. What time does Daddy get home? Crap! He’s got a business dinner tonight. :-/


Any Moms out there available for a ‘business dinner’? I could really use one of those!



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