Dating is hard. Period. I’m not saying that it isn’t worth it, I am just saying that it is hard no matter who you are or where you are at in life. And as a single mom, dating gets a lot more difficult. Over the years I have found a few ways to make the dating experience a little easier to manage.
Before a Date…
I have always found it easier to be up front about the fact that I am a single mom. That will scare some men away faster than you can say, “Time Out!” but it is easier to find that out in the beginning. You don’t want to invest of any of your precious time dating a man who you are going to find out in a few months can’t or won’t date a single mother. Find out in the first conversation. Make it clear that you aren’t looking for a new father for your child, but that you are a single mom and that is something that you need him to know up front. Don’t dwell on it. Don’t tell him your life story. Just give him the chance to back out if he can’t deal with it. If he does back out, at least you know now that he’s a moron and move forward. Without him.
The Lunch Date
Never underestimate the lunch date. Chances are that if you are a single mom, that you have a job. And if you have a job, most likely you have someone watching your child or your child is in school. If you have a job, you also have lunch break which can easily be turned into a lunch date once you meet a man who is worth your time. The lunch date is a great first or second date. There is so little pressure involved in a lunch date it is almost a non-date. But it is. And can lead to great things.
If You Have Made it Past the Lunch Date…
There is no delicate way to put this, so I am just going to be blunt -don’t go further than second base on the first night date as a single mom. If you have already told the man that you are a single mom (which you should have), he knows you aren’t a virgin, and he is probably thinking that you are a little desperate. (Don’t blame me, I’m not a guy, I’m just telling you how it is.) Kiss him goodnight. Kiss him for a little bit longer. But then put on your chastity belt, lock it up tight if you really enjoy this guy’s company. If you don’t want to be just his 2am booty call, which you will be, don’t give it up on the first date. Even if you want it, restrain yourself girl –there is plenty of time in the future for that.
About Brooke Billings
Brooke Billings is a single mom of an awesome 9 year old boy navigating the worlds of parenthood, dating and writing. Brooke is the editor of Single Parent magazine, and co-founder of ModernSingleParents.net, a revolutionary new social network for single parents. Brooke is also a featured expert writer on multiple single parent websites. As a child raised mostly by a single parent, Brooke is passionate about supporting single parents and helping single parents realize their potential. Brooke has been co-parenting her 9 year old son with his father since 2002, and is happy to be in a place where the relationships are enjoyable for everyone involved. Brooke and her son enjoy the blessings of living in the beautiful Pacific Northwest, as well as urban adventures and entertaining friends and family.