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Worst Inventions Ever: Baby Products

January 9, 2013 by ModernMom Staff Leave a Comment

1.Radio Stroller (1921)
http://www.idwork.org/story.php?title=radio-stroller-1921
Stroller equipped with a radio, including antenna and loudspeaker, to keep the baby quiet; USA, 1921.

2. Baby Cage (1923)
http://encyclopediahomeschoolica.com/tag/the-portable-baby-cage/
In 1923, U.S. patent 1448235 was issued to an Emma Read for her remarkable invention of the Portable Baby Cage. It was the purpose of this invention to suspend infants from the exterior of high-rise buildings, adjacent to windows, so that they could enjoy fresh air and exercise without the pesky business of taking the child outside.

3. Ice Skating Baby Holder (1937)
http://forums.finalgear.com/off-topic/life-30-dumb-inventions-aka-epic-facepalms-39292/
This is another example of superb 1930s parenting: a baby carrier suspended between two parents. It seems slightly risky, but not like the most dangerous thing ever…until you realize that the parents in question are ice skating.
Jack Milford, player with the Wembley Monarchs ice hockey team, has invented a carrying device so that his baby can join his wife and himself on the ice. Because who wouldn’t want to take something as fragile as a baby onto a rock-hard surface with very little friction?

4. Beating Breasts (1963)
http://forums.finalgear.com/off-topic/life-30-dumb-inventions-aka-epic-facepalms-39292/
A pair of artificial breasts with a built-in heartbeat, an invention from — where else? — Japan intended as a sleeping aid for very young children.

5. Maternity Beach Chair (2001)
http://www.google.com/patents?id=eYcHAAAAEBAJ&zoom=4&pg=PA1#v=onepage&q&f=true
Sunbathing while you’re pregnant can be a logistical nightmare. I mean, how are you supposed to lie on your stomach? Thankfully, someone had a stroke of genius and invented the maternity suntan chair, which incorporates a giant cutaway for your baby-belly. The design improves upon a similar concept, first conceived back in the 1930s, by including an opening for the chair-occupant’s face and allowing for quick conversion into a normal (baby-belly-hole-less) lounge chair.

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