So you’re a new mom, and of course you want to share every adorable baby photo and every precious anecdote about your little bundle of joy with all of your friends.

But wait! Before you hit Facebook, there are a few simple rules that every parent should follow. Seriously, it will make the virtual world a much better place for the rest of us.

Here are five common new mom Facebook fails:

1. Creating an account for your baby

Not only does it violate Facebook’s terms of service – it’s super weird to see first person posts from a tiny human who is not yet old enough to talk, let alone type.

2. Graphic photos and status updates

Please, please, spare us the gory details.  We do not want to know what you did with your placenta and we are not interested in reading about your child’s bowel movements.  Also, let’s talk about delivery room photos. By all means, show us an adorably swaddled photo of your newborn in your arms. But do not, DO NOT, show us a photo of you in the process of giving birth. Remember, keep your private parts private.

3. Paging Dr. Facebook

It’s one thing to ask if anyone in your friend circle has experience dealing with croup, or to survey some opinions on how to handle teething. It’s quite another to treat your friend list like it’s the American Academy of Pediatrics. (Unless, of course, your friend list actually is The American Academy of Pediatrics.) Let’s repeat: Facebook doesn’t wear a white lab coat. Quite simply, if your baby has symptoms you’re concerned about, refer to a physician, not a wall post.

4. Too many posts

Baby photos are almost always a hit, but no one wants their feed cluttered up with a thousand pictures of little Cameron sitting in her car seat. Think quality over quantity and save the extras to your “Baby’s First Year” external hard drive.

5. Privacy settings

This last one is actually pretty serious – don’t forget to check your privacy settings. So many people are unaware of how much information they are sharing with the world. It’s one thing to let co-workers or strangers or strange co-workers creep on your life. But when your kids are involved, it becomes a safety issue. It’s not just you anymore– and what’s more important than keeping your little one safe?

What are some of your pet peeves when it comes to Facebook?

_{Image credit: By Enoc vt (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons/Photoshop}