My husband and I have had a pretty rocky year. Lots of
fights, name-calling and not a lot of intimacy. What’s your
point-by-point plan for starting over with my guy and making 2009 the
most romantic year ever?
Teresa M., Seattle
Sorry to hear about your tough year.
And yes I do have a game plan for you, to get the relationship rolling in a better direction. But first, you need to take care of a few things.
- You and your husband should agree that at all the petty fights and name calling are going to stop.
- If you are angry at each other, you need to have an open discussion with each other — and that should happen the moment one of you feels any type of anger. This way you can avoid the heated drag downs that happened during the past year.
- You should commit to making each week special by scheduling two dates devoted to reconnecting. The first date will be your time to plan a date or a special romantic evening –free of kids, bills and work issues.You can make this night a special night at home or go out on date. The second date will be a day time activity. You need to carve out at least four hours on a weekend for you to do something mellow and calming together. May I suggest a nice walk through the park or spending the day walking around a farmer’s market, a flea market or village square? Another great thing to do is to take a trip to the seaside or lakeside and take a ferry ride. Water is always calming and there is so much beauty in nature. Or schedule a weekly brunch, someplace where you can see the water, or be among trees.
- The most important things to keep in mind is that the two of you need to learn how to communicate with each other without the anger. Pick up a copy of Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton. It will really help you in your relationship with each other.
Have a Happy New Year and here’s to a new start for you and your husband!
|Dating coach, blogger and author David Wygant has been featured on more than 2,000 radio and television shows, including Dateline, CBS Good Morning, and MTV. Get more sex and dating tips on David’s interactive blog at davidwygant.com|