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Why do Men Cheat?

January 24, 2010 by ModernMom Staff Leave a Comment

Men cheat because they need sex and a lot of it: this is the traditional view of the reason for adultery. However, the number of women who cheat is on the rise, causing people to rethink the causes of infidelity. The truth is, men cheat for a multitude of reasons, and sex often has little to do with it.

Men cheat because they need sex and a lot of it: this is the traditional view of the reason for adultery. However, the number of women who cheat is on the rise, causing people to rethink the causes of infidelity. The truth is, men cheat for a multitude of reasons, and sex often has little to do with it.

Emotional Disconnect

Gary Neuman, marriage counselor and author of "The Truth About Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do To Prevent It," conducted a survey of 100 men who cheated and 100 men who remained faithful. The results of this survey showed that 48 percent of the men who cheated had done so because of emotional disconnection from their partner. It turns out that a lack of appreciation is at the root of this problem. Many men feel like they are not valued at home and therefore reach out to other women for this validation.

Capture Youth

While a midlife crisis seems like a pretty weak excuse for an affair, it is a common problem. Men often try to recapture their youth through promiscuity. Some men want to experience things they have never experienced before; things they believe they should have done in their youth but missed out on for one reason or another. Psychologist Dr. Gail Saltz suggests that this type of affair serves a dual purpose. It allows a man to deny the fact that he is getting older while creating a feeling of invulnerability.

Excitement

Most people search for a little added excitement in their sex lives at one point or another. This may mean new positions, new locations and sometimes new partners. The thrill a man feels when he thinks he may get caught can be enough to fuel his libido. Unfortunately, this problem is a hard one to overcome. However, sex in a seemingly public location may help a man capture this desire with you. Do not risk arrest, but use your imagination. Have sex in different locations in your house and use role playing to suggest that someone may walk in at any moment.

Avoid Intimacy

Some men are uncomfortable with intimacy. Sharing every detail of their soul makes these men squirm. To escape from intimacy, a man like this may begin to seek a woman who won’t ask too many questions–a woman who wants nothing more than a fling.

Physiology

The idea has long existed that men have a biological need to spread their seed as far as possible. However, physiology may be more to blame. Dr. Steve Gangestad, psychology professor from the University of New Mexico, conducted a study that compared the testosterone levels of men who cheat versus those in committed relationships. Men who cheat and men who would consider cheating had higher testosterone levels than loyal men.

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