Money is one of the most difficult issues in any marriage. Different money management or spending practices can lead to conflict. Money also sometimes is used as a form of control in a relationship, adding to the challenges. If you lie about money to your husband, this is a clear sign of a problem. However, you can identify the underlying issues and work to improve your situation.
Your Own Spending
The most common money lies in a marriage are little ones. Evidence of shopping hidden or claims of sale prices are not huge lies, but they still are damaging ones. In some cases, you might be lying to cover unhealthy shopping habits. If you are spending in excess of your budget or your spending is unreasonable, you might lie about money to hide this. Lies also are used to cover up unhealthy habits, including alcoholism, drug abuse or compulsive gambling. You also might lie about your spending because you don’t have the freedom to spend without accounting for it. To avoid these lies, make room in your budget for a small allowance for each of you to be spent or saved as desired.
Shame and Embarrassment
If you are lying to cover up a money mistake or serious concern, this is a bigger issue than claiming that a pair of shoes was only $9.99 on sale. Perhaps you’re embarrassed by the amount of credit-card debt you’ve accumulated or bills you forgot to pay. You might even lie about money to protect your spouse from financial worries and concerns. All of these lies, or financial infidelities, can damage or destroy a marriage. Come clean, sharing your worries and concerns.
Money can mean power in a marriage. If you are lying out of fear of an abusive spouse or a lack of access to joint funds, consider this a red flag, and make plans to leave your relationship or seek immediate counseling and help. You also might lie about how much money is available to keep your husband from spending excessively or to ensure that money is spent the way you prefer. If this is occurring, consider meeting with a financial adviser to develop a budget that sets clear goals that satisfy both of you.