Many people begin dating before their divorces are final: This poses special challenges, whether you are the one divorcing or he is. There are risks to jumping into a new relationship too soon, though sometimes those risks are worthwhile. Make sure you really know what you’re getting yourself into and think about the positives and negatives of the situation, your own emotional state and your wants and needs before you date during the divorce process. Here’s some things you might consider:
The first consideration if you are thinking about dating before the divorce is final should be state laws. If you live in a no-fault state, this may be less of an issue; however, in some states, adultery laws still may apply. This is more of a consideration if you are dating a man during divorce when it is your own divorce, but you probably don’t want to become entangled in his divorce proceedings, either. In some states, lawsuits for alienation of affection are possible.
Recovering from a broken marriage is a long process and comes with substantial baggage. It takes time to heal, and many people will not have had the time to do the work they need to do to move past the marital relationship before the divorce is final. Dating a man during divorce can result in poor choices or a broken heart. The rebound relationship may be a bit of a cliche, but it has a strong basis for it’s facts.
Depending upon where he is or you are in the divorce process, the true fate of the marriage might not be settled yet. Many people explore dating while separated, then end up reconciling with their former spouses. If you are divorcing and considering dating a man during divorce, you may find that dating makes reconciliation more difficult and leads to hurt feelings. Dating a man who is in the process of divorce can be heartbreaking if he chooses to return to his wife.
Although there are serious concerns with dating during divorce, if you live in a no-fault state, you may find that separation is a good time to explore casual relationships and learn how to negotiate dating. This is especially true if your marriage has been long over in all but name and you have been off the market for quite some time. If you are dating while he is separated, keep the relationship light and casual until his divorce is final.
Many online dating sites offer “separated” as an acceptable category, but consider whether he really is. Some men claim that they are dating during divorce when no divorce is happening at all. Be prepared if you are dating a separated man, to ask questions to determine his actual relationship situation and to answer those questions if you are dating while separated. The last thing you want to do is go home with a man and find his wife (and kids) are still living there. Ouch!