After you’ve been married, it can be overwhelming to go back into the dating world. If you are recently divorced, you may not feel ready to date. But, eventually you will want to dust off your old skills and give dating a try. It’s probably going to be harder to date than it was before you were married, because the pool of men is considerably smaller. But many people have good experiences, especially if they are prepared and follow good advice for dating after divorce.
If you want to attract a quality person, you have to be one. Work on what you can bring to a relationship before you start dating–qualities such as your inner strength, intelligence and kindness, suggests “Psychology Today.” People who exude self-confidence while dating will give the perception they are marriage material. People who appear desperate, such as those who call the love interest too much or sleep with him too soon, are sending signals of inferiority, which is not a trait that will gain you success. Do not fall into the trap of thinking that your worth is only about how much money you make. That could be a factor, but having a good relationship involves your entire personality, not just the money.
Think About Your Children
If you have children, it makes dating more difficult. You need to be cautious about allowing your kids to meet the person you are dating and not let your kids bond with him unless you are confident that this will be a long-term relationship, TV personality and psychologist Dr. Phil McGraw says. Children can immediately attach themselves to the new man in your life. If the relationship doesn’t work out, your children will be hurt again. If you repeat the pattern with more men, your children can be left feeling abandoned and confused. Never let the man you are dating move in or spend the night, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach suggests on the “Oprah” website. That is disrespectful to your children.
Try meeting some new friends who can help you to adjust to your new life. Your old friends may takes sides or be jealous of your new freedom, according to “Psychology Today.” Your new friends can help you to start living as a single person.
Be Careful of the Rebound
It is easy to get involved in a relationship too soon out of fear of being alone. If you are not ready to date, and are doing it out of fear, you may be making bad choices, such as having one-night stands or jumping into a relationship that you know is wrong. The more time you spend with a man who you know is not going to be there in the long term for you, the more time you are wasting out of fear. Make a list of your positive qualities, and hang it on your refrigerator, “Psychology Today” suggests. If you have a support group, find someone from it who will go out with you when you are feeling vulnerable.
Make a list of activities that you want to do. If you don’t have a date to do them with, do them alone, with a new friend or with a singles group. You should not feel as if your life is on hold until you get a man.