When you walked down the aisle in your wedding dress and pledged your eternal devotion to your partner, you likely never even considered the prospect of divorcing this man of your dreams. However, as time passes and the fairy tale gives way to reality, many women find themselves questioning the appropriateness of their selected mate. As a woman, you are statistically more likely to be the one to pull the plug on your marriage. As the “Psychology Today Magazine” website reports, three-fourths of all divorces are initiated by the female spouse. If you think that your marriage is headed toward splitsville, think carefully and weigh your feelings as logically as you can to ensure that you make the right choice.
Don’t Rush Into it
Take some time to think. A divorce is not something that you want to rush into in a moment of fury. The decision to divorce will forever impact your life, the life of your partner and the lives of any children that the union has produced. Do not rush into divorce. Instead, allow the thought to simmer in your head and give yourself time to ponder the topic before rushing to action.
Think About Your Fighting
Consider what you fight about. Some spouses fight about small things, like not putting the toilet seat down, while others argue about more serious matters, like infidelity. When deciding whether your rocky union can be salvaged, consider the overall importance of the things you fight about. If your fights are over petty things, you may be able to overcome these disagreements with some work and salvage the marriage.
Pros and Cons
Create a pros and cons list. While reducing your marriage to a two-column list may sound heartless and cold, making a list of this type can be tremendously helpful as you try to weigh the benefits and weaknesses of your union. After you compose your list, review it carefully and weigh the entries on each side of the chart. Separate yourself from your emotions and think about the practical reasons to stay with or to leave your partner.
Seek counseling. It can be difficult for individuals in a marriage to look at the union in an unbiased manner and consider how they could each change to make the relationship successful. A counselor is an outside party and, as such, she can assist you and your man in dealing with your differences. While counseling doesn’t always save a marriage, it is a good step to try before you make the life-changing decision to divorce.
Try a separation. Before you make your split legal, have a dress rehearsal. Speak to your spouse and suggest a separation. During this time, one of you must leave the marital home. This period of living separately gives you both the opportunity to consider whether or not you are happy together. If you decide to suggest a separation, follow the advice of “Psychology Today Magazine” and make your request in a calm and level-headed manner without an accusatory tone or the inclusion of insults.