When your husband informed you that he wanted out, you may have been too shocked to respond. Later, however, you realized that you still love him and believe that he still loves you. You can take steps that will stop a divorce, at least temporarily, giving you time to think things through. Whether you ultimately get divorced or get back together, buying some time can work to your advantage.
Stopping a divorce can be important financially, emotionally and physically. Statistically, women fare worse financially than their husbands do, according to “The Independent Newspaper” website. The husband’s income typically increases by 15 percent while their ex-wife’s income generally drops by 28 percent after the divorce is complete. Stopping the divorce will at least give the wife time to attend school, gain some professional experience and prepare to be solely responsible for supporting the family outside of child support payments.
Many states have reduced the time it takes to finalize a divorce. As of 2010, depending on the state the divorce was filed in, a divorce took between 90 and 180 days to complete. Stopping the divorce, even for a short while, will provide time to attend marriage counseling, talk to a mediator or get the children older before they have to deal with the emotional trauma of having their parents split up. Whether a trial separation or a reconciliation is chosen as the divorce alternative, it will stop the permanent dissolution of the marriage while everyone gets prepared for the future.
Many women hope that by stopping a divorce temporarily, it will force their husbands into reconciliation. This is not, however, always the case. It is important to view the stopping of a divorce as a temporary stop-gap to what will eventually occur. This will help the woman continue to prepare for her future as a single mother or a single woman instead of wasting time. If a reconciliation occurs, she will still be better off because of the steps she took to prepare for a life without marriage. Having an attorney ask for as many continuances as possible can help postpone or stop the divorce, giving the couple time to evaluate if they really want to dismantle the union.
An attorney can request that the couple be ordered to go to marriage counseling or mediation, which will effectively stop the divorce until the end of those sessions. Another method that can be used to stop a divorce is to refuse to agree to property settlement, child support, visitation suggestions and other elements of the petition. These methods will only serve as temporary stops. Eventually, the judge will clear it all up, but it may provide enough time to work on a reconciliation if that is what both parties desire.
Avoiding service of divorce papers, failing to attend court hearings or interfering with temporary child visitation or custody orders are not appropriate ways to stop divorce. These actions can actually result in losing the court action or in some cases of child visitation and custody can result in a divorce. It is important to utilize legally acceptable methods in the effort to stop a divorce.
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